Dearest Friends and Workers,
The only “family” I have ever known and loved for over 60+ years now are those in this fellowship. Unfortunately, my folks and relatives who were all so “steadfast” are all gone now, as are many others that I knew and loved.
In the past as a young girl growing up in meetings, I had always felt a strong sense of love and family and “belonging.” Unfortunately, I made mistakes in my life choices, left meetings for several years and returned later. In the years since as I attended meetings, that sense of “belonging” was missing—I did not feel like I was a part of a family as I had earlier. There was a lot spoken in many meetings about unity, but it was lacking towards this prodigal who had returned (this is not true with ALL of the friends but with a large majority.)
In fact, many times instead of others reaching out with a loving and helping hand, I have felt quite alienated by my former friends and those within—almost like I was a leper of some sort and folks were afraid to be near me lest some of those things I had learned while away for years might rub off and taint them in some way. This is not true just for me—I have heard others express feelings of being unaccepted. My own children told me repeatedly that they always felt as though they were not good enough and were not acceptable. This is not the spirit I see in Jesus. I certainly do not want to be judgmental—for who am I??!!! But then again, who are they to judge??!!
After over a year and a half of soul searching and Bible study, I have come to the place where I can no longer be part of this fellowship. When the Dean Bruer situation was revealed, it became clear to me that something was terribly wrong. I was further horrified upon learning of all the cover ups over the years—even workers I loved as a child—never suspecting the evil in them!
The countless Child Sexual Abuse/Sexual Assault (CSA/SA) incidents that occurred over many years that have been recently exposed concern me greatly. Adding to my concern, this evil continues to be mishandled, and many workers refuse to enact protective safety measures.
I am deeply disturbed that this could even occur in our fellowship and that the workers are doing so little to correct the situation. The friends are being told to forgive the perpetrators as this is what Jesus would have done—but I believe he also would have been outspoken. In one case, he made a scourge and drove the evil doers out of the temple.
The wolves within the fellowship should be removed to protect the flock. In many cases, this has not been done, and often they have been moved to another location where they could continue to abuse without the friends being warned of the danger. Also missing is the lack of righteous anger against those who perpetrated these acts as well as the lack of remorse and repentance within the fellowship by the ministry and friends. I, myself, have been guilty of not speaking up.
It also concerns me that the upper overseers in the ministry have rejected the policies that were suggested, saying they only need the scripture as their guide. When they have had the scripture for over 100 years, and yet these atrocities have continued. It would seem that the ministry has become more focused on protecting the ministry and their names and reputations than they are focused on protecting the flock.
My father, Herman Beaber, entered the work in 1929. He gave up quite an illustrious career as a Mechanical Engineer at the University of California at Berkeley in order to give his life as a minister. In 1940, he went to minister in the Philippines. He was one of the five brother workers interned in the Los Banos, Philippines camp during WWII. He loved the Filipinos he preached to. His diary titled: Deliverance – It has come! is online. After he left the work in 1951, he married Blanche Berry in 1955, and they adopted my brother and me when we were 11 and 8 years old.
When my father was in the work, I think there was truly a desire to follow the Bible and go out as Jesus sent his disciples to evangelize and to follow the methods of the primitive New Testament church, but now it has become more of a business venture. I have recently learned of lands, money, and other resources the workers have been given by folks in their wills/estates. I even have relatives who did so. This leads me to conclude that this is NOT the ministry my Dad gave his life to. He did NOT have money or any other means available as is the case for many workers today—he nearly starved to death for his beliefs at times. It makes me wonder what has gone wrong. Perhaps Satan stepped in and took control, and God is now trying to open our eyes.
I was shocked when I first discovered a man started this church. I asked my father point blank, “Was this church started by William Irvine?” He confirmed that it was and that it started in Ireland at the turn of the 20th century and that he had personally met Edward Cooney. Historical documents show that in 1905 the workers proclaimed their method/ministry and church were “God’s only right way.” Subsequently, they took many traditions of men and passed them off as commandments of God, laying heavy burdens on the friends, especially the women.
I no longer believe all the workers are Spirit-led. I no longer believe this way/fellowship is God’s only right/true way. Making the decision to step away from the fellowship has not come easily, but I feel that because of the issues before me, this is for the best. I will no longer be attending meetings or conventions.
I have not rejected God—I will continue to study my Bible and pray for God’s guidance and the prompting of the Holy Spirit (John 16:13). God wants those who worship him to do so in Spirit and in Truth and I will be doing that. I am not leaving to take my own way or go out into the world, but to follow more closely to Jesus and his actual words. I do not believe this fellowship is God’s only right way. I believe there are many Christians in this world we live in who are not in this church who have the Holy Spirit dwelling in them who will be in Heaven one day. I have placed my trust and belief in God’s awesome gift of grace: “For by grace are you saved through faith; and not of yourselves: it is the gift of God” (Eph 2:8). Jesus is my rock!
Although I am rejecting the fellowship/belief system, I am not rejecting you, my friends. I will continue to view you all as my brothers and sisters in Christ, and I hope you will do the same for me. I feel a very, very a deep sadness that this fellowship has become so corrupted. I dearly love you all and will deeply miss you and think of you often!
With much love in Christ for all of you
Esther (Beaber) Austin
Midlothian, Texas
February 21, 2025