Women’s Appearance by Kay Arvig Downs

Excerpt from letter to Kathy Lewis:

Another big turning point in my life was when I attended a big Women’s luncheon meeting in West Los Angeles where our local Federation of Women’s Clubs was invited to their meeting. Incidentally, I had by then got so far that I joined this club of “do-gooders” as it says in Titus 8 times, that we should be doing good, and I saw no such opportunities in just acting the old 2×2 ways.

Well, at that luncheon, there I sat, in my long hair, no jewelry, little if any make-up such as powder, feeling like a sore thumb amidst all of the smiling, happy, pleasant appearing ladies on all sides of me! All were kind to me. None appeared to judge me but seemed to want to help me to be happy too.

Then across the room of about 300 women, one lady was asked to stand up and give a report. She was dressed the same way I was! At first, my reaction was favorable, and I told myself I’d look her up after the dismissal and ask her questions that would let me know what religion she was in.

But then the awakening came! I began realizing that I didn’t actually LIKE the way that woman appeared, and she didn’t impress me as being one to really love other people and be kind and do good as these prettier ladies all around me had impressed me. These who were dressed to be as pleasing as possible to the majority of the rest of us, I suddenly realized, were the most sincere and unselfish! They dressed as they did to cause the rest of us to enjoy their presence!

But in comparison, I saw the other woman as thinking only of herself—dressing to give the impression that she was righteous above all the rest, because of her lack of pleasing attire.

On the one hand were the women realizing that others HAD to look at them whether we wanted to or not, so they did their best for OUR sakes, to appear as nice as possible, regardless of human lack of beauty. On the other hand, was this woman who cared not at all bout how unpleasant she was in OUR eyes. She seemed very self-satisfied in her “ugliness” and had done nothing to try and improve on it for the sake of others who must see her. The selfishness comes in where you realize she doesn’t have to look at herself in her ugly plainness, but the rest of us DO have to look at her!

THAT was the BIG MOMENT of Truth – enlightenment that really changed my life and actions. My heart at that Moment went out to these other ladies in pretty attire, knowing they were from various denominational churches—they talked about the Bible too, and they mentioned the joy of attending church too, so I knew they no doubt knew the same Lord and Savior I thought I had a hold of by the coat-tail and had tried to keep in a corner by myself.

Now I try to dress so my appearance to others is as pleasant as possible because they have to see me and my image; while I really don’t have to see it unless I pass a mirror.

By Kay (Curtis Arvig) Downs
August 21, 1990

Katherine (Kay) Janet Curtis Arvig Downs: July 18, 1912 – July 30, 1993, aged 81.
Married 1941
Theodore (Ted) Amos Arvig: (May 26, 1904 – February 9, 1968, aged 63
Married Thomas Downs Oct. 23, 1970 – Divorced Oct 1971
Their only child, Theodore (Ted) Arvig, died of cancer, a year to the day after Kay passed away

Go to Kay’s Testimony

Go to: Arvig Exit Letter