With the permission of my mother, I am sharing the life story of my father, Glen Parish. If you don’t know who he is, you may have heard the famous (infamous?) story of the Baptist preacher who professed. Yes, that was him. I don’t tell that story anymore as it became a lesson in gathering attention to my dad, and I don’t believe that is a good center of focus for a testimony.
My brother Scott has shared on the internet quite a lengthy text regarding his walk away from the 2×2 religion and alludes vaguely to what happened to my dad (https://ex2x2.info/2020/11/07/parish-scott-csa/ )
My dad was adopted out of Los Angeles just short of being 2 years old. His mother, who lived in Oregon, got pregnant and her mother didn’t want dad’s mom (my grandmother) to be around the other siblings in the family, bad influence, etc. How she ended up in LA we’re not sure, but it was there that Dad ended up being adopted by a couple who had lost twin boys shortly after their birth and shortly before my dad’s adoption.
My grandfather Parish was an angry and abusive man which set up the perfect stage for one of Dad’s cousins to molest him at a young age, just how young I don’t know. This is where my dad learned that the way to love a man and have a healthy relationship with men was to have homosexual relations.
Dad struggled with sexual feeling towards men all of his life. He had tried different therapies as treatment to stop being homosexual all to no avail. Dad would spend time in public bathrooms signaling to men he wanted sexual relations for many years. My mother stated after this all came to light that she dreaded opening and reading the newspaper for fear that there would be a story of my dad being arrested by an undercover policeman. How she put up with this for their whole marriage speaks of her loyalty to her wedding vows and to her character to love unconditionally.
It was during the time when we lived in Visalia, California, when my dad went to the Bay area for some counseling, that I began to ask questions. Mom didn’t want to answer except in a vague way, so I blurted out something to the effect of “He is having homosexual issues, isn’t he?” Mom looked at me with a wide-eyed stare and asked me why I would say that. I honestly don’t know what gave me that inkling, but the secret was out now. As you can imagine, this caused quite a stir in the family and others who did find out.
I’m not too sure of the timeline at this point, but there was a point where Dad wanted to share in meetings what was going on and to ask forgiveness for living a lie. He was forbidden by the workers to do such a thing. He asked for help from the workers to overcome his struggle but, they were of no help, and even admitted they had nothing to offer him, except things like pray more, believe more, you shouldn’t be doing that, etc. ad nauseam.
I don’t remember the exact year, 1991 or 92 possibly, but Dad found a group of Christian men and women who were attending meetings from an organization called New Creation Ministries. The group concentrated on helping people who wanted out of the gay/lesbian lifestyle. It was there he learned to confront the deep anger and hurt left over from the abuse from cousin and father. He learned from a Biblical perspective how to deal with all of this emotion. He also had psychological counseling. I clearly remember his counselor (Barry Sommer in Visalia) telling him “You want to have loving, healthy relationships with men but the sex thing always gets in the way!”
Now, none of this was a magic pill. It was mostly a matter of Dad making a choice to turn from his sin. Once he understood it, named it and faced it, there was change. I read a letter he wrote towards the end of his life expressing his regret of not realizing earlier the great weapon he had to help him fight this struggle—just in the simple fact that he had a choice. He stayed with this counseling group for the remainder of his years (about 5), and it was wonderful to see the transformation in him: helping others to understand their issues, reconciling with my mother, and he spent quite a bit of time telling his testimony at the local churches, clearly and honestly telling other people of his sin and urging people to get the type of counseling that had so helped him.
And that is the point of me writing all of this. To my knowledge, Dad did not have any workers or friends abuse him. I suspect he likely heard about pedophilia while he was still attending meetings, but I don’t know for sure. So, to those of you who are struggling with the intense hurt and feelings of betrayal and destruction of trust from people who should be trustworthy and honorable, I *strongly* urge you to find a Christian-based support group or counselor that understands how to confront this type of stuff, and how to get past the lying, grandstanding, gaslighting, shaming and other control tactics that pedophiles use.
I know this may be difficult for your sense of propriety but there are likely churches in your area that have pastors/groups who can help you. Yeah, these people may not be “friends” or “professing”, but humanness and its shortcomings are a universal experience with Christians, no matter the denomination. Immorality knows no boundaries of religion—it is everywhere.
There have been those in this group who have confessed to feelings of being triggered just by picking up a Bible. I urge you to find someone who can help you see that there is an intense love letter from God in your hands when you hold a Bible, not just the intensely negative memories and feelings associated with those who misuse and mishandle it. It will be hard, but just like those who have had extensive surgery, it is painful and time consuming to heal, but the struggle to overcome is well worth it.
And please, don’t be afraid of the consequences of speaking up and speaking out. It might be the life a precious little one that you rescue from the clutches of a deranged man/woman who is an abuser. I had to do it once and reported a person to the authorities, and it was one of the hardest things I had to do, but I did it at the urging of a counselor who asked me, “Don’t you think it’s the best thing to do in order to protect innocent children?” Well, yes it was.
My father finally did conquer it the last 5 years of his life, and it was a wonderful change, both for him and my mother. Just so you know, the workers discouraged him from telling his story. He finally visited all of the churches in Visalia that would allow him to do it, and he told his story and how he got help.
I pray to God that this very difficult time for the 2×2 religion will result in a real and lasting change. I hope it will bring people to realize that there are wolves out there (and in the fellowship) in sheep’s clothing, and that parents need to protect their children.
In lovingkindness,
Jeff Parish
June 25, 2023