Vulnerable Letter to the Fellowship:
Even though we stepped away from this fellowship many years ago, our family and many friends and acquaintances are still in. Relationships are important as “you can’t make old friends” and keeping connected is high on the priority list. We love you.
As I’ve perused this site where many folks are not only connecting but processing all that is going on and pondering what they believe, compared to what they used to believe, I fluctuate between amazement and a little bit of envy. Envy that we and many like us who left before the Internet didn’t have a support system and only had a few to walk beside us…
Looking back, I realize many of us who stepped away were living in real time Matthew 5:10-12 (which is one of the beatitudes). Blessed are you when they revile and persecute you, and say all kinds of evil against you falsely for My sake. Rejoice and be exceedingly glad, for great is your reward in heaven, for so they persecuted the prophets who were before you.
The suffering that is blessed is suffering for righteousness’ sake—being persecuted for doing the will of God over man. To embrace the promise of this beatitude, the persecution must be for doing His righteous will and following Him instead of men worshipping Him instead of men and their traditions. Being persecuted may take violent and extreme forms, as well as subtler ones such as ridicule, dismissiveness, marginalization, and exclusion.
We who stepped away experienced the subtler forms. We were not offended, nor bitter. We didn’t tell the workers to tell people we didn’t want to be contacted. We missed our friends and family. We were vulnerable in asking questions—and met with judgement and distain. We hated the chasm growing between us as we walked into the light and freedom of knowing Jesus as God the Son.
We didn’t know what to do next or where to go. We had no idea what our future would look like stripped of everything familiar socially. Could we make new friends? Would we find like-minded people to commune with spiritually? It was a terrifying step and we had to trust the Lord with all of it. And He has blessed us bountifully!
If you haven’t left a community where shunning is actively practiced, you will never know what it feels like until you experience it.
Coming back into this online community—connected because a tsunami of SA and CSA after Dean Bruer—has been somewhat healing. It really does feel like we are all holding hands—walking each other home—listening, caring, being kind and polite—like we have a working conscience and love each other.
Try as we might, we cannot change anyone else’s behavior. It is a desire—but can’t be the goal. From the perpetrators to the ones who protect the perpetrators, the only viable action to take is to talk with your feet, your money, your home, your property and not merely talk with words. Yes, hold their feet to the fire and cheer and support Wings and Advocates for Truth. But most of all rise up! Love is an action verb. Do something unfamiliar. Stop doing something familiar. Shake it up. We need an uprising, a revolution, a revival.
And speaking of revival, it will take all of us to fall on our face before the living God and realize that without him, we all have the capabilities to be Jeffrey Dahmer or Adolf Hitler. What is on our computer? What addictions do I have? Where is my ego? When have I looked away or ignored a gross violation or injustice? When have I not stood up to fight evil?
Revival happens when we repent and make amends. When we take responsibility for and own our own stuff and have remorse for hurting others—and make necessary changes. It is crucial to our own spiritual health and wellbeing—not the other person!
As much as we all want offenders—and those in leadership who protect them—to own and take responsibility and repent for all that has happened, it may not come to fruition. I believe sociopaths are hard wired differently than normal sinners. There is too much power and money to give up so easily. They don’t hear: STOP! They hear: The people are disgruntled and will get over it. They always do.
For the sake of momentum, may I beg each of you to reach out to one single person who stepped away from this fellowship years ago and greet them, hug them if you can, tell them you miss them, tell them you are sorry for thinking they were lost. Tell them you don’t believe you are in the one true way anymore. Explain that you’ve learned the history and ask for forgiveness for dismissing it. Tell them you’re embarrassed that you called their pastor a wolf in sheep’s clothing and make lots of friends with Christians outside of your fellowship. You might be amazed.
Tell people about this site so they will have the opportunity to connect too. Encourage them to read “Preserving The Truth.”
Along with the horrendous amount of sexual abuse, there have also been gross violations of emotional and spiritual abuse happening over and over again throughout the history of this fellowship. Let’s make it stop with us. Unhook from the patterns of abuse of every kind and help build something new and appealing and glorifying to God.
I would love to meet with you in an unauthorized meeting. I’d wait to see if you would break bread with me as my sisters and brothers in Christ. Pass it to me and watch me smile, I dare you.
Kathleen Overby
August 18, 2023
Originally posted on Connected and Concerned Friends (CCF)