Today Shelly and I were visiting about Sharon, rest her soul, one of the old Friends in Winnipeg who passed away about a year ago. The conversation was about mental health — which Sharon struggled with — and childhood trauma. Shelly reminded me that Sharon had told her some of her traumatic stories of sexual abuse at the hands of her father. I had been aware of Sharon’s abuse, but — and I realize how terrible this sounds — I had forgotten. And in that moment I felt that familiar, sickening recognition. Here we go again. Another story. Another family. Another layer of damage that had been hidden beneath hymn-sings and potlucks.
And I found myself asking the question, again, that we’ve all asked: WHY does sexual abuse seem SO disproportionately common in this church? And make no mistake, the number of incidents in this church is astronomically higher on a pro-rata basis than many other churches that have been publicly reported and investigated. The sexual abuse in the Catholic Church is downright anomalous compared to how prolific it is in the 2×2’s, proportionately.
But WHY? Two things immediately came to mind. And I know most of you reading this already know all this. I’m not bringing any revelatory new insight. But these things demand to be restated.
First, the church offers what feels like a five-star promise of forgiveness. If you are “going to meetings” and have “professed” in the one-true-way, you are safe. Like I mean eternally safe. The Workers have dialed this exclusivity doctrine in so tightly that salvation IS institutional. Stay in, stay loyal, and you’re good. Simple salvation formula.
Now, I personally believe God’s grace is deeper and wider and broader than we can comprehend, but when forgiveness is fused to membership in a specific organization, something dangerous happens. For someone who has done something horrific, the church doesn’t just offer repentance and hope — it offers spiritual insulation. It can function psychologically for an abuser like a hiding place. You don’t have to face the broader world. You don’t have to submit to the accountability society normally demands. You just have to stay inside “the flock.” This is gold to an abuser.
Secondly, the secrecy. The 2×2 church is secretive about things it doesn’t even need to be secretive about. It’s like a sport with the Workers and Friends. Throw in no public website, no transparent governance, no financial disclosure. Authority structures that are rigid, but unwritten, and easily denied. And when abuse happens, that same major league culture of secrecy becomes a shield for abusers, and a smoke screen over the abuse itself.
High-control groups, according to sociologists, tend strongly to prioritize institutional survival over transparency. Psychologists call this “system justification” — the instinct to protect the group identity at all costs. When the group believes it is uniquely chosen, or uniquely pure, or uniquely right, or all of the above, exposure feels like an existential threat. So problems are handled “internally.” Victims are encouraged to forgive. Families are encouraged not to “bring reproach” and to “leave it in God’s hands.” Loyalty and silence are spiritualized into being “Christian” virtues. Yes, those are heavy quotation marks around “Christian” because obviously silence about the sexual abuse of children, and loyalty to a Ministry that covers it up and shelters abusers, are NOT actually Christian virtues. Who ‘da thunk?!!
Put those two dynamics together — salvation from membership in the one-true-way PLUS guaranteed secrecy — and you have the answer to WHY it’s so prolific in this community.
There’s another piece at play in this: what psychologists sometimes describe as moral licensing. When someone sees themselves as spiritually superior — part of the remnant, the faithful few — they can unconsciously grant themselves moral exceptions. This is precisely why Jesus spoke so strongly against institutionalized self-righteousness. “I’m one of the saved.” “I’m a Worker.” “I’m in The Truth.” That identity can become a narcotic. And I’m using the word “narcotic” purposefully. Idolatry doesn’t just make you wrong, it makes you delusional.
Show me a group that’s convinced itself it alone mediates approval/salvation/peace with God, and a group that’s created a secretive culture where information is under lock and key, and I’ll show you a group where abuse flourishes. Not because everyone is evil. But because predators are human. And they WILL gravitate toward environments where forgiveness is granted by membership, and exposure is viewed as costly and dangerous. In fact, environments like that will create predators, let alone attract them.
Transparency is not the enemy of faith; it’s the proof of it.
Loyalty that demands silence isn’t loyalty at all. It’s fear.
By Tim Borys
Date February 22, 2026
Originally posted on Connected and Concerned Friends:
https://connected-and-concerned-friends.mn.co/posts/why-does-sexual-abuse-seem-so-prolific-in-the-2×2-church