I honestly never thought I’d see the day when I felt moved to officially separate myself from the Fellowship I have been a part of for generations, but I see now that this was inevitable.
As you know, these past two and a half years, I’ve been actively advocating for victims of sexual abuse within the community. During this process, I have consistently encountered a lack of desire (from most senior workers and many friends) to even have a conversation about these atrocities, let alone make safe changes.
I have been baffled and sad at this response from a Christian group of people who profess to have love and care for others.
I have held onto an ever-thinning thread of hope that, with enough information and education, there will be a collective and genuine reaction of empathy; however, the unwillingness to enter into the pain of others persists.
Since my injury, it hasn’t been possible for me to attend regular meetings, and I felt moved to email the ministry (on a global scale) once more with what has been laid on my heart these past months. I received genuinely caring responses from two sister workers, but the only responses I received from brother workers were requests to remove them from my mailing list. I will attach that email here.
This has been a watershed moment for me – sadly, it has become clearer and clearer to me that there is an undeniable lack of connection and care. How can there be meaningful fellowship without communication?
I cannot support a system that has been this uncaring and abusive, which means we will ask to have the sanctioned meeting in our home removed, and I will no longer attend sanctioned meetings within this community at this time.
Until the safety of the vulnerable is taken seriously, my conscience simply won’t allow me to participate in ministry-sanctioned meetings, as it makes me feel like a cog in a harmful machine.
This does not mean I don’t love the individuals who still choose to be a part of this system. It also doesn’t mean we have not valued fellowship with each and every one of you or feel that we cannot continue to enjoy that.
We would like to have an “open home” in a more real way than we have had in the past, which means we welcome conversations with all believers, not only those who belong to this particular church
As I’m sure you’ll understand, there are many complex layers behind my reason to stop attending meetings, and it’s impossible to explain all of that in this short letter, but I invite conversations with anyone who is interested in understanding my decision. I am also happy to forward the other emails I have sent to the ministry these past years to anyone who is interested in entering into my experience. I can assure you, my decision was not made lightly.
Very sincerely and with love,
Rhona
Email to the ministry:
Members of One Body.
I have felt moved to reach out to the Ministry again, with my thoughts going to each of you as separate individuals rather than one entity. I have found many of you on my mind these past months.
I do hope that you’ll find it in your heart to read this – from my heart to yours.
As you are aware, we are nearing the end of convention season in our fellowship, and for some, this has been a time of comfort and joy, while for others, it has been a time of distress.
It’s important to acknowledge the two realities.
It may be a challenge for those who are comfortable to enter into the reality of those who are distraught, but I’m sure you all would agree that this is what God asks us to do.
“Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ”.
Two months ago, I was walking around the perimeter of an old Venetian Port in Crete when I lost my balance and fell 6 feet to the stone pathway below, shattering my left ankle and spraining my right – I’m still in a wheelchair and unable to work, so I’ve had lots of time to think about the members of the body.
All of the members of my physical body have revolved around my broken leg – it just happens instinctively, and it’s not just because I understand that it’s hurt and I feel responsible to take care of it – It’s because I love that member of my body, and I am super motivated to do everything I can possibly do to aid the healing process.
All the other members of my body are focused on taking care of the injured member, and it’s not an option to carry on as normal. Sure, the other members of my body are telling me it’d be a wonderfully comforting idea to cool off with a nice swim in the lake – but I obviously can’t do that because it would cause further damage. So, life has changed for me, and necessary adjustments have been made for recovery to be possible. It’s impossible to ignore the ripple effect my injury has had on the rest of my body, as it’s not a choice; it’s just how it works.
We often talk about chapter 12 in 1st Corinthians about the members of the body, where it states that: if one member suffers, the rest suffer with it.
As most of you know, I have been advocating for the members of the body that are suffering.
Convention has activated a severe trauma response in many abuse survivors for several reasons – I feel that it’s important for you all in this ministry to be made aware of the severity of this response. I feel I owe it to you all to let you know, as I would want to know this if I were in your position.
We’ve had to put several survivors, including a suicidal teenager, on the waiting list for trauma therapy because there isn’t enough funding to meet the need.
It’s hard for me to accept this and reconcile it with my knowledge of the cost of running conventions. As a community, why haven’t we prioritized those who are hurt and in need? Instead, our resources – our money and time – have been spent on paying for workers to travel to conventions and then the cost of organizing them.
I have been told by some workers and friends that the best thing for all of us is to be at convention where we can hear the word of God spoken – of course, the best help for any of us is to focus on God but He isn’t only found at convention, and right now, we should be asking ourselves how best we can help those who have been injured.
I am aware that there are some survivors who find their comfort in attending convention, but, overwhelmingly, most are triggered that conventions are still continuing and haven’t been paused once in these past two years, with all the abuse being uncovered.
My surgeon told me that my injury will likely be life-altering for me and to prepare myself for the reality that I will never fully recover. That was hard for me to hear, of course, but my limp will be on the outside – we understand that survivors of sexual abuse are limping on the inside, and will be for the rest of their lives.
I’m not sure if you’re fully aware of the lifelong, devastating impact that being sexually abused has. Survivors don’t have the option of “leaving it in the past” because it’s a very present and intense trauma.
As a community, as members of one body, shouldn’t we be entering into their pain, and doing absolutely everything we can to help in the healing process?
We phoned in to several conventions, and we heard some lovely messages, mixed in with a few that troubled us. At times, there was the insinuation that those who were not physically present at a convention had lost their connection with God. Some survivors who do not feel safe to attend convention, heard these sermons, and it has been traumatizing for them.
One particular sermon caught my attention where Merlin compared the workers to tow trucks who could help those who reached out in distress. Interestingly, this is one worker who, at his own request, will not be added to this email, as he has told me he no longer wishes to hear from me. So this analogy doesn’t quite fit, does it?
A little while back, I reached out to Merlin, Mike, and the “Safety Team” that was set up for CSA issues, with a CSA concern.
I was told by Merlin that he didn’t consider me a “safe person” to communicate with – and the reasons he gave me were:
1. I’d trusted a worker on his staff whom he had endorsed himself (this worker turned out to be a perpetrator of sexual abuse, and he implied that it was no surprise to him, but failed to warn any of us), and
2. I’d trusted one of the AFTT survivors who’d set up a support group for victims of CSA and SA.
His message hurt me and, truthfully, baffled me.
The safety team was supposedly set up so that we can access it with CSA concerns, and this was the response I got from the guy in charge – Mike didn’t even bother to acknowledge the message at all. Does this make sense to you?
There are many workers I love and respect. I know that many of you have entered the ministry because of your genuine love and care for others.
You deserve to know the truth about these different encounters. How can we, as members of this community, feel supported and cared for when the overseers refuse to even communicate with us?
I assure you, I’m not alone in this, and I’m describing only one of many incidents similar to this.
I expect that this email will either be immediately deleted or read and ignored by the more senior among you, based on my own personal experience and the experiences of others over the past two years. This no longer surprises me, as it did in the beginning, but it continues to sadden me. This time, I’m hoping to appeal to those lower-level staff members who possibly have concerns about the state of things in this group.
I’d like to ask you to really consider the facts here: we have a staggering amount of sexual abuse accounts that have been and continue to be reported to local and international law enforcement. This includes the young folks and also includes many very senior members of our community who are speaking about their sexual trauma for the first time in their lives – just think about that for a moment. Does this not break your heart as it does mine? Does this not light a fire underneath you to be a part of their healing journey, as it does for me?
What should healing look like? It certainly doesn’t mean we carry on as though nothing is wrong. Do you feel in your hearts that we, as a collective community, are doing what we can and should do in this situation?
We are still holding group gatherings, although we have largely relaxed our safety policies. Unfortunately, perpetrators continue to attend meetings, and workers still travel and stay in members’ homes. Do you, in all honesty, feel that these are safe choices for any of us, including you, workers?
I’m sure most of you are aware of the scale of the abuse that has taken place at this point, and I can’t help but wonder how conversation has unfolded as you travel together to conventions and visit with the friends between meetings. There seems to be a reluctance to even talk about this anymore, and, if it is addressed, it is downplayed. The word has come back to us that “the CSA crisis has been blown way out of proportion.” Imagine how this would further damage already wounded survivors – hearing this kind of talk happening in their own community? How do you respond to this when sexual abuse is being minimized?
My body understands that normal activities need to be paused for now, restful and quiet healing days are needed, where my hands apply ointment to the incision wounds. All of my members are going to show up and participate in physiotherapy when things progress to that point.
This has been a clear picture to me of what is needed in our community.
I want to also take this opportunity to thank those of you who preached about Jesus at convention—after all, that’s where our focus needs to be.
In love and sincerity
Rhona (Dowling) Reid
Daughter of Henry and Shirley Dowling
Campbell River, Canada
October 2, 2025