To those associated with the 2×2 fellowship:
I have written and rewritten this so many times, as I didn’t want to offend anyone with what I shared, but also wanted to be unafraid in writing down what I felt God has revealed to me. So, please know that this is coming from a place of love and concern. And, please know that I am not trying to pass judgment on any that are still part of this fellowship. My love for you hasn’t changed, and I still pray just as I did before that honest hearts in individuals would be led by God, regardless of where they choose to worship and have fellowship.
I was born into a family that was part of this fellowship, and have attended meetings all my life. I had the revelation of Jesus being my Savior in my childhood, and chose to follow Jesus and live for Him. Since the news of Dean Bruer was broadly released over 17 months ago, and other victim-survivors then came forward with their stories of abuse and mistreatment (sexual, physical, religious/spiritual, emotional, etc.), I have been forced to wrestle with a lot of questions and evaluate my beliefs around so many things. While it has been incredibly painful and hard, I’m so thankful that I feel God has removed the scales from my eyes. I feel He has helped me to understand what is actually true about His Son and our Savior, Jesus Christ (instead of what I thought I knew about him).
I can now see how beliefs and judgments that have been encouraged, spoken of, preached about, and expected in this fellowship (that are not scriptural, nor Christlike) have influenced my own judgment and perception of others. They have taught me to live in fear instead of living in assurance of God’s promises. Even if I could somehow get past the mismanagement and complete failure that has occurred in helping victims of abuse and in holding the abusers and their enablers accountable within this fellowship, enough “doctrinal” beliefs and practices have come to light to me that I cannot ignore for my own (and my children’s) safety (spiritually, mentally, physically, etc.). The set-up of the fellowship as it is currently is not conducive for helping me to learn, grow, or mature in Christ.
The abuses, lies, manipulations, and cover-ups that have been exposed over these last 17+ months are absolutely appalling, mind-blowing, and heartbreaking. Words can’t actually describe how heinous it all is. These abuses have been known about for years, and the abused among us have been ignored and pushed aside for years. The pattern of mistreatment to the ones that have stood up for what is right (to hold abusers and their enablers accountable), and who then have received shaming, stonewalling, and distancing or excommunication from those within this fellowship (worker and friend alike) is disgusting.
My own parents fall into that category…standing up for a victim-survivor, subsequently being lied to by those that were supposed to help address and rectify the awful situation, and then being shamed and disconnected from the fellowship because of their stance. I know my parents were not the anomaly in regards to victim-advocates and their treatment once they took a stand. I didn’t fully understand their experience at the time, but I’m so thankful now more than ever before for the stance they took in choosing clearly what was right and wrong, and trying to do what they could to hold those in positions of authority, power, and leadership accountable.
I have been so disheartened, shocked, and ashamed by how cold and harsh so many have treated victim-survivors within this fellowship. A vast majority of the leaders in the fellowship (workers and elders alike) have shown a complete lack of willingness and initiative to openly and collectively address wrongdoing. The leadership has not taken honest, humble accountability for their actions. The focus has not been on loving those that are hurting, but on maintaining the status quo and “riding out the storm.”
We should have done so much better! The extreme lack of care, compassion and love for those that have been hurt and are hurting has been embarrassing. How painful to be ignored and refused comfort and compassion by others within your own church! The ones who say they love you and care for your soul, but leave you out to bleed on the side of the road, unwilling to help bind your wounds and carry you somewhere where you can rest and recover (as the priest and Levite did in Luke 10 v. 30-37 in the “Good Samaritan” story). I don’t know why love has not been shown like Jesus commanded, but it is shameful and wrong.
The book of Nehemiah was particularly impactful this last year. I loved the beautiful picture (in chapter 8) of the people coming together, listening to the Law being read to them and being helped in understanding what it all meant, and then the people as a whole weeping because they understood how far they had gotten from what God had commanded and desired of them. What an inspiration to read of a group of people that humbly acknowledged where they were, that wept and mourned and repented for what they had done, and had joyful reassurance that the conviction and mourning they were feeling was an affirmation of God working in their hearts! Of God redirecting them again.
I know I have repented of my own actions and responsibilities in this that have not been aligned with God, and I had hoped this fellowship could have humbly and collectively repented to the Lord by now. I pray that repentance could still happen, and the opportunity would be taken to turn back to God and His ways. The Old Testament is full of stories of individuals (and the Israelites collectively) having to reflect on their past mistakes, so that they could learn to not make them again. Why have we been so unwilling to learn from our past mistakes, to weep and repent of where we are collectively as a fellowship? And then, to turn back to God (“teshuvah” is the Hebrew word translated as repentance that literally means “to return”) and pray that, with that correction and reproof, we could be redirected and realigned with Him and shed anything that He doesn’t want going forward?
My husband, Arun, and I have been part of an innumerable number of conversations, emails, and discussions trying to push for transparency and present these concerns in a way that would be received in the seriousness, yet love, that we were sharing them in. We did that because we felt led and called by God to do so, to do what we could to help as members of this fellowship. But, as a collective church, I have seen the choice by too many to not care for victims, to not do the right thing or have integrity, to lie to keep one’s position in the church…all of which are works of the flesh and not fruit of the Holy Spirit. As a collective church, I have seen the unwillingness and refusal to reflect on our past, repent of sins committed (against individuals and the fellowship as a whole, and ultimately God), and to learn and be willing to re-evaluate if we have gotten “off-track.” As a result, this church is not a place where we can have safe, scriptural, edifying fellowship.
Over the last 17+ months, I think I have wept more than I ever have in my life. I have felt a deep betrayal (for all the victims, and for my own trust that was broken), and a deep mourning over what I thought this fellowship was (but the results of which, over many decades, have shown otherwise). When I thought of the impact all of this could have on my daughters, it broke my heart. I didn’t want them associating Jesus with hypocrisy, sorrow, heartache, or burden (which I saw they were starting to do when they saw me struggling and weeping in meetings so much). I wanted them to know that Jesus is their source of peace, joy and freedom from the burden of sin!
As a parent, it is my responsibility to keep my girls safe (in their bodies, minds, and souls). As a parent, my role is to not live a life that leads to confusion or double-standards in my children’s’ minds. I have to live what I try to teach them everyday…to love God, to be kind, and to show love and care to others. I don’t know how I can do that while being part of a worldwide church that claims to be the “only true Christians” in the world because of their form/system, but the fruit of the group as a whole is not one of love or Christlike behavior.
I am hopeful that I can have fresh interactions that aren’t tainted by my old way of thinking, but are with the newfound freedom of grace and understanding of who all is part of God’s family. I am excited to be free of a judgmental way of thinking that was always underlying when I viewed others or interacted with others. I am eager to see all believers as the body of Christ, and to be able to have a deeper, richer relationship with Him and others. I feel God is leading me on towards a different way to worship Him, and to have a new freedom and liberty to worship with others. I am hopeful to edify and encourage others in a completely new and purer way. I am eager that my children will be free of the rules and expectations of men, and can be free to be sensitive to what God is telling them directly. I want to teach them that the way we are “recognizable” as being “different” and “peculiar” and “set apart” from the “world” is not in our outward appearance, but it is in the love that is shown to God and others through our thoughts, actions, words, and behaviors.
Please know I am here if you have anything you want to talk about. I am by no means an expert, but am trying to learn everyday and make sure that my understanding is aligned with God. I still see those that are seeking to love and serve God as individuals within the body/bride of Christ. Where or how you worship doesn’t matter to me, but what matters today is that we all, as the body/bride of Christ, move forward aligned with Jesus. I am happy to have Biblical/scriptural discussions and studies with anyone who would like to; I have so much to learn, and I am eager to do that in whatever manner God leads me in.
Thank you for reading this. I sincerely appreciate you spending the time to understand part of my experience and what I have learned. In the following pages, I have included some specific examples of practices, beliefs, and “doctrine” in this fellowship that greatly concern me, if you are interested.
May all who love God and Jesus pray fervently every day to be led by His Holy Spirit, to have eyes free of scales and illusions that would hinder us from seeing His truths, and to glorify His name and His Son with our lives.
With love,
Chelsea (Boelter) Mohan
North Carolina
August 29th, 2024
The following is a list of traditions and beliefs that have become “doctrine” that I think have gotten away from how they were originally intended in Scripture. In it are phrases that are shared in this fellowship that I would encourage you to look into yourself. Compare it to what the Bible says, and see if it stands true.
This is certainly not a complete list, but it is what has been weighing heaviest on me.
Exclusivity:
“For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves; it is the gift of God, not of works, lest anyone should boast.” Ephesians 2:8-9 NKJV
The belief that our form of fellowship and worship is the only way on this Earth to know Jesus, to have a “real revelation and relationship” with Him (all the definition of exclusivity), and to “hopefully enter Heaven through” is dangerous and not scriptural. Being part of this fellowship has become synonymous with “submitting to God” and “righteousness.” We are to believe in Jesus, and Jesus alone! Not “Jesus and this ministry” or “Jesus and this fellowship” or “Jesus and the meetings.” It is Jesus alone, and if we add anything to that or believe we need Jesus and “fill in the blank,” we are making his sacrifice and gift of grace of non-effect. We are putting the “Old Law” back onto ourselves. We are boasting in our own works. We are not living a Spirit- led life if we put all these extra steps and checklists between us and Jesus to “sanctify” or “justify” ourselves, like in Old Testament times before Jesus fulfilled the law.
This fellowship and the form/structure is not synonymous with Jesus. This fellowship does not have a monopoly on God’s salvation. That is God’s, and God’s alone, to give. It is arrogant to talk down about other Christians and other churches, while feeling proud that those in this fellowship are the only ones that have a “true revelation.”
It is arrogant to believe that those in this fellowship are the only ones God could save…out of the billions that are alive, and the many that have died before today…God really can only save less than 1% of the human population? THAT is how powerful his love is?! I can’t believe that. The way is narrow, yes, but the way is Jesus. We are saved by grace through faith in Jesus, not the fellowship or church we are part of.
Another part of exclusivity is the belief that those that are “being led by the Spirit” and those that are “in the Kingdom of God” will have “uniformity” in their outward appearance, will worship in the same manner, etc. If there are Christians/believers that don’t look the same, worship in the same style/format, etc., then “they surely aren’t submitting to God” or “denying their flesh” or worshiping God in the manner He has “ordained.” The “uniformity” of the body of Christ is actually found in the results of their actions (bringing glory to God, love for God and others, etc.). If we put God into a box and believe that “God only works with people in this manner” or that “those that are actually following God will look the same, dress the same, sound the same, etc.”…we are so drastically limiting the broad scope of the power of the Holy Spirit! And then, we are unwilling and/or unable to see the miracles that happen in front of our own eyes because it doesn’t follow the expectations and system we have set up and equated with a “life led by God.” God doesn’t work in predictable, formulated ways. God works in mysterious ways.
Asking questions:
The belief that it is dangerous to ask questions because “it could affect your faith” or it shows that you are “having doubts” in the “one, true way to Heaven” is a very big concern. So many people have been deterred from asking these questions and more:
1) Biblical/scriptural/spiritual questions (ex: What is grace? What is the baptism of repentance vs the baptism of the Holy Spirit?),
2) questions about the history of this fellowship (William Irvine and the Faith Mission),
3) questions about why abusers have been moved to different areas and why victim-survivors have been mistreated and pushed aside, or
4) questions about finances (How is money managed in the church? Are there funds being given to victim-survivors to cover costs of therapy for the abuse they have endured from those within this fellowship?).
The ministry in this fellowship, as a whole, is not able to or not willing to answer questions about abusers and perpetrators within this fellowship, let alone questions about traditions and “doctrine.” Questions aren’t bad, though. So many times in the Bible, Jesus answered questions by asking further questions to push people to really dig into why they believed something or acted in a certain manner. And do we really think that God can’t handle our questions? Jesus asked why God had forsaken him when he was dying on the cross. I believe that God understood why Jesus was saying that, and I know that he didn’t condemn him for asking that; if Jesus had sinned by asking that, he wouldn’t have been the sinless sacrifice for all mankind!
How is it maturing us or driving our faith deeper by avoiding big questions and scriptural topics? As long as the church as a whole is too afraid to talk openly about important topics or to have vulnerable conversations and a safe space to ask questions…the individuals, the beliefs, and the fellowship as a whole will not change, and the victims will continue to be abused and abandoned.
A Christlike and Christ-led fellowship should be a safe place to talk about our shortcomings, our failures, and even our questions; then, there can be direction, encouragement, and prayers from the group to address them in a Christlike way with God and His truths always leading and influencing whatever is talked about and acted on. If a fellowship is deterring people from asking questions, how can the group ever reflect on where they are going, mistakes that were made in the past, if they are still aligned with God and Scripture, or how they can get back on track with God’s guidance and leading?
Reflections & revelations I have had:
— Our identity as Christians isn’t (and shouldn’t be!) found in which church we belong to, but should be found in whom we belong to…God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
— Jesus’ judgment of who and/or what someone loves is based on one’s heart, and we are able to discern what is in one’s heart by the fruit of their actions…and those actions are summarized in how one loves God and their neighbors (Matthew 22 v. 36-40). Our actions in loving God are not based on attending meetings, having a “helpful testimony” in meetings, attending conventions and special meetings, our outward appearance, etc. They are based on so much more than that!
— There are honest, humble, beautiful souls outside of this fellowship that have real and amazing relationships with Jesus. Their relationship with Jesus is not contingent on their participation in this fellowship (now or ever!).
— It has been eye-opening and humbling to realize that because of my hesitations/fears, I have missed out on deep, spiritual edification and fellowship with other Christians simply because they weren’t part of this fellowship. How sad, and how shallow of me! I am looking forward to hearing people’s stories and how God worked specifically in their life and their situation; it’s beautiful and miraculous! It shows, again, how great our God is!
— The Holy Spirit has been given to every believer, and God doesn’t discriminate or restrict his leading and influence to a select group of people within a specific church, or to a specific church only.
— The belief that a woman’s outward appearance shows her “Godliness” and “righteousness” in “being willing to submit to God” and “deny her flesh” is wrong. Our “righteousness” is shown in the fruits of our actions. And our actions are to “love the Lord God with all your heart, mind, soul, and strength” and to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22 v. 37-40).
— The church of God/bride of Christ isn’t just this form of “2×2, celibate, penniless, homeless ministry,” and the people that support them (“the friends”); the church is all of Christ’s believers!
— My understanding and beliefs have greatly limited the work and power of the Holy Spirit because I have put the Holy Spirit inside a box that I thought/was taught it should fit into (yet no box can contain the work and power of the Holy Spirit)!
Encouragements & challenges for you:
— This form of worship and the structure of this fellowship have become synonymous with “righteousness,” and with the only way to follow God and Jesus. The behavior and mindset I have seen from many people, though, reiterates that the focus is not on Jesus, but on the form and system. It is a very slippery slope to then end up worshiping the form (equating it to God), and not worshiping God. I implore each one in this fellowship to seek God and ask that if you are putting anything in His place, that God would help you in realigning and refocusing on Him. Please, as a Christian, do not put any barriers and checklists back up between yourself and God. Please, do not create any idols or worship anything other than God, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.
— I challenge you to strike up a conversation with a fellow Christian outside of this fellowship, and see where the conversation takes you. We are not to be fearful, but assured in our faith, so what do you have to fear? “For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.” 2 Timothy 1:7 NKJV “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love.” 1 John 4:18 NKJV
— I challenge you to talk to someone who has left this fellowship in the past, and ask if they would be comfortable sharing their story and experience. You might be surprised to learn that many who have left this fellowship haven’t done so because they don’t believe in God anymore; a vast majority have left because the beliefs, traditions, and expectations in this fellowship were taking away the joy they had in Jesus, or were stifling and stunting their relationship with Jesus from deepening!
— Why are people in this fellowship discouraged from talking or being close to others who have left this fellowship in the past? Shouldn’t we be more secure in our belief in Jesus that having conversations with someone outside of this fellowship wouldn’t shake?
— When the belief is that the form/system is the exclusive way to Heaven, it can lead to individuals compromising their morals and integrity so as not to disturb or change the system…it creates an idol out of the system instead of actually following God. It leads one to a situation exactly like where Jesus was reprimanding the Pharisees because of their idolizing the Old Law instead of understanding the intent of it.
— Matt. 10 & Luke 10 are referenced (by workers) as the way that the workers go out. The belief that this “2×2 celibate, penniless, homeless ministry” today in this fellowship is the same as Jesus sent out in Matt. 10 & Luke 10 is wrong. It’s not the same group of people, nor is it in the same form, and should not claim to be. Please, honestly vet that for yourself if you believe that is true.
— The belief that the Holy Spirit isn’t given to each believer in the same measure is dangerous. I would encourage each to dive into what the Bible says about this, and to determine whether you believe this or not. Do you believe the workers are “closer to God” or “more Spirit-led” than yourself? If so, why?
— Scripture has been used out of context, and/or manipulated to fit a certain narrative or message being sent to others (“spiritual/religious abuse”). It has become increasingly worrisome that there are false messages being preached by workers, yet there seems to be no system or accountability in place to address those messages and how they might not be doctrinally-sound, or to correct the messages after the fact. Please, reflect for yourself about how dangerous you feel that is to have done by the “leaders/teachers” in your fellowship.
— The belief that “different regions/overseers will have different forms of administration” and, therefore, things will be done differently depending on where you are in the country/world doesn’t make any sense. If this is one fellowship being led by one spirit (the Holy Spirit), there would be unity in the approaches to different “issues” within the church, all with the focus of bringing glory to God. Examples: divorce & remarriage, grape juice vs. wine, whether someone is allowed to partake in fellowship meetings and/or the emblems, and the approach and goals in dealing with the CSA/SA crisis (that should have been dealt with decades ago). It shows a broken and fragmented church that has no unification across the globe (yet, claims to be the “one, true way”). What does that show to you?
— In Acts, new followers of Christ “believed and were baptized.” The fact that individuals in this fellowship can be denied the experience of baptism (because of the decision of a worker) is not scriptural. We are placing someone between ourselves and God by having to follow what God is leading us to do only after man’s approval, and there are many warnings in Scripture to avoid doing that. Jesus didn’t come to this Earth to establish a new “priesthood” by putting “a ministry” in place that believers must go through to follow God’s leading. I would strongly caution you to evaluate if you do anything to put something/someone between yourself and God. Those that believe in Jesus should never be hindered from following what God is leading them to do, especially by those within a “Christ-led fellowship.” Please, wrestle with that practice yourselves, and ask whether it is a spiritually-safe practice to maintain in a fellowship led by the Holy Spirit.
— The belief that we must “try harder,” “do better,” and “strive harder tomorrow” shows a focus on our own strength and resolve and not on completely submitting to God and His love. We are to show our faith and our love by our works, right? Our love will lead us to actions in alignment with God’s leading and in obedience to Him. We don’t act and then love God, we love God then act in accordance with that love. If we love Jesus, God has promised that He will do a good work in each of us through His power, not our own (Philippians 1 v. 6 and Ephesians 3 v. 20). To strive to be like Jesus everyday in our own power is an uphill battle we will NEVER succeed at, and that mindset can hinder our joy in Jesus! Jesus wasn’t just a good, strong man. He was God in the flesh, and it is literally impossible for us to live sinless like him in our own strength. That is the beauty and joy we can have in His glorious gift of grace!