Letter to Jim Price, September 15, 2009
Greetings Jim,
We are writing to let you and those listed below know that our greatest concern is for the Kingdom, and keeping it pure and holy. These events have been so distressing for the past 8 months, that there are days when we just wish we could wake up and realize it was all a nightmare and over with. But, it continues, and for nearly 240 days, day and night, this horror has plagued our mind.
We’ve prayed for an answer, and prayed for peace, and prayed for a resolution, and prayed that the workers we’ve spoken to (Bruce Shaw and Barry Barkley) would see how serious and devastating this event has been to the victim, to our family, and could be to the whole Family of God. Tim and I have lost sleep, night after night, for months. We’ve wept repeatedly, and feel it’s hopeless at times to think anyone will feel as distraught as we do over these events.
We were told to say nothing to anyone, and we have complied! And, never in our wildest imaginations would we ever have thought we would feel this way when we heard Leslie White was coming to Illinois. We had the utmost respect and reverence for him, and his ability to ALWAYS be helpful in every meeting we were privileged to hear him speak in. Upon hearing of the incident, though, it didn’t matter who was the offender, we felt we must bring it to light.
I was made aware of this incident on January 14, 2009. Tim and I got together with the victim on April 3, 2009, from 5:00 to 10:00 p.m. and discussed in detail each and every question she was asked and the details regarding the incident. We were shocked and appalled at the questions.
The questions were as such:
- Did she ever have pleasure with her husband?
- How often did they have sex?
- Could her husband get an erection?
- Did he ejaculate?
- What did she do to excite him?
- Did she get him to masturbate?
- Did he think her body was attractive?
- Did he look at other women?
- In the times they did have sex, was he able to get her wet?
- LW said “Any man with one red blood cell would have sex with her.”
- LW said he would have sex with her.
- LW said he would even marry her if he were younger.
- LW said she was an absolutely beautiful woman with a beautiful body.
- LW told her that he loved her 4 or 5 times during the evening conversation.
Upon hearing the details of this conversation, we were sickened, and made a phone call to one of the elders in the Chicago area. He stated upon hearing the information that we contact Barry Barkley. Tim called and spoke to Barry, and gave him some of the details. It was decided that a meeting would be held at our home so that both parties could discuss their particular side. The evening before the meeting, Barry called to say that he would attend the meeting as well. In attendance would then be Barry Barkley, traveling from New York, Tim and Beth Boelter, the victim, Curt Swenson, and Leslie White.
When Leslie arrived, his immediate question after greeting everyone and apologizing that everyone had had to meet at our home was, “What are the charges against me?” “Is this court, or a hearing?” “I need to know what is happening here.” To these questions, Barry stated that we were met to hear each side of the incident, and that this was a meeting to hear the facts.
The victim told how the meeting had come about, and the questions she had been asked later in the evening. Leslie raised his hand to the heavens and stated, “God is my witness, I have never had a conversation with anyone about sexual matters, and I’ve never gone alone with a woman for dinner.” “I was a fool for going alone with the victim.” “I was a fool.”
Upon stating the questions she had been asked by Leslie, the victim looked at Leslie and asked how any of these had any spiritual context. Leslie stated that he had not asked those questions! Later in the conversation, Leslie said he had been counseling a couple in Indiana, and the husband had told him he was trying to convince his wife to stay together. He told Leslie he had bought some “toys”. The victim asked him to be quiet, that we did not want to hear these things. Wasn’t this a conversation regarding sexual matters? So it seems that Leslie White had already contradicted his statement from earlier that evening.
Barry stated at this point, that the workers should not get involved in these types of conversations with the friends, and that they should encourage them to seek professional advice. He stated that this area was something the workers should stay clear of, completely!
Barry also mentioned that by going two together provided a safety net, a check system, so that they would be a help to each other as co-workers. Barry suggested that Leslie should not be traveling by himself in the future, and that he should be supervised by his co-worker so that these kind of things did not happen again. He also stated that there were numerous subjects that could be discussed in gospel meetings and other meetings; the victim had stated some concern for the subject matter in a couple of gospel meetings she had attended just prior to this. Barry encouraged Leslie to be careful not to be offensive to others in subjects he spoke about since there was much in our Bible that was beneficial and encouraging and helpful.
About an hour into the meeting, Leslie stated to the victim, “You forgot, I did ask you about orgasm.” Then he said, “I’ve never said that word before, and I don’t know if I pronounced it right.” The victim reacted quickly by saying, “you’re right, I had completely forgotten that; you did ask me about orgasm, and you pronounced it perfectly.”
At that moment, Tim and I, the victim, and Curt sat with our heads down, in shock and disbelief. Barry sat quietly. There was silence for a minute or more while we tried to grasp what we had heard. Without any proof of the former questions, Leslie had just validated the inappropriateness of this conversation by stating the question he had asked her about orgasm. In our minds, it seemed that he had no intention of saying this, but God had forced it out!
There were numerous quiet moments where everyone sat without saying a word. Leslie stated to most of the victim’s statements, “I didn’t say that.” He admitted that he was the fool for going with her that evening. Barry said that the workers should not be stating anything about a woman’s beauty, and Leslie said he would be more careful about that, and that he didn’t know he shouldn’t be saying that, and that he was sorry he had mentioned a woman’s beauty to anyone.
Tim stated that this seemed like a very serious issue, and that counseling would be a suggestion he would make in order that Leslie overcome this tendency, or at least find out what a psychiatrist would say following an analysis. Curt stated that in his workplace, they learned very early the importance of being careful, in every situation, so as not to be offensive to co-workers. He stated that counseling was often a very helpful solution, and suggested it be looked into. He also stated that there were times in his presence that Leslie had “come close to the line, but never stepped over.” He wondered where Leslie was going with what he was saying, but then never went over the line. This was a great concern to Curt.
The meeting ended after Barry asked if anyone had anything else to say. Leslie stated, “There’s nothing more to say.” Barry said that he felt we had accomplished the mission for the meeting, and that was to hear both sides, and that he would be in touch with the victim.
During the next week, we received a letter from Leslie. Within a few more days, we also received a letter from Barry.
We heard from no one else until about a month later, when Barry called to check in. Barry and I spoke on the phone for nearly an hour, and the content of the conversation was the following. Barry stated that he didn’t believe either one of the parties concerned intentionally tried to lie. He stated that some people say things quickly, and forget what they have said, and that perhaps things have become enlarged in the victim’s mind. He stated that there was a “gap” or grey area where their statements did not match. He didn’t know the cause for the gap, but he knew that it was a serious issue.
He stated that he had talked to 2 older brothers in New York. We assumed this would be overseers; older brothers who were responsible for the flock, but I don’t believe that was the case. This grey area is the victim’s accusations, and Leslie’s admittance of ONE thing he said which was out of line, “beautiful women.” Barry stated that some feel we should exert more punishment, and he believed restoration was the first order of importance, followed with rebuking with all authority, admonishing one another, and sometimes we’re called upon to punish. He stated that we don’t act rashly because the Lord can cause us to see the next thing. Barry stated that he didn’t know if this was a sickness or a foolish failing, but the best way to find out was having a co-worker aware of it, as Leslie continued on in his place.
Barry stated that if this was a gradual failing (human), Leslie could repent and have victory. If this was a sickness, then they would have more to deal with. He again repeated that God had sent them two together, and this was their safety net, and their responsibility to look out for each other. He said he believed in God’s power to give people another chance.
I asked Barry if he recalled at the meeting in our home that Leslie had stated he had not asked her any of those questions, or discussed those explicit subjects, but Leslie said he had asked her about “orgasm.” Barry said, “No, I had forgotten that.” “You’re right, he did say that,” Barry continued. I was stunned; this was a key moment that evening, when Leslie validated these accusations by admitting, accidentally, that he had asked her this question. I stated that this seemed to make that “grey” area far less grey, as far as we were concerned! Had Barry not even relayed this statement to the older brothers he had spoken to? This statement says volumes about our concern. Orgasm has NOTHING to do with a spiritual conversation! This statement was of utmost importance, and as I looked around the table that night, most were in tears, and Barry sat emotionless. Was it too much for Barry to grasp what Leslie was saying?
Barry finished our conversation by saying that he would rather err on the side of being too slow to make the next move, rather than acting swiftly.
It was not until mid-June when the victim contacted Barry to express her concern that she had heard that Leslie had been traveling alone, and had visited some of my family in southern Indiana. This information came to light by a phone call from one of those visited, which knew nothing about these circumstances. It was just happenstance that they mentioned to Beth’s father, that Leslie had come past for a visit, and stated he had driven some 200 miles by himself. They didn’t know where he was going, or the reason for his travels.
A key point of concern here – if he’s not staying with his co-worker, how can he be supervised? There’s no one to watch what he’s doing, and this is a dangerous precedent. Barry questioned how the victim knew this, and whether it was even true. She told him it was Beth’s family, and that he could call to verify it with me if he wanted.
In the meantime, the victim had come upon information from another young woman of our acquaintance who stated that she had had a similar experience but chose to remain silent. She did not want her name used, but said that he had crossed the line in a similar conversation, and she said she had made it clear that he better not try that again; she told the victim that if he ever brought the subject up again, she would knock his teeth out! She stated that she felt he was afraid of her now, and he better not mess with her again!
It seemed that when Bruce Shaw was asked to get involved when he returned to the Chicago area, he was given limited information. He felt he knew all about it, but knew very little of the severity or the details. He met with Tim and I, along with his co-worker, to discuss holding another meeting where two overseers would come to review/discuss these things at our home. We agreed to go forward with this, with the victim’s approval as well.
Within a matter of days, we heard from Bruce that this meeting was not going to happen because without the names of other possible “victims” there was really nothing to go on. Barry told Bruce that that he saw no need to have another meeting; it would be a waste of time, and there was no need to have another “he said/she said,” debate. The information was relayed to us by Bruce. Things went from bad to much, much worse with conversations and email we received from Bruce. We felt that no one understood, or even appreciated that we were standing by the victim, a woman who had been greatly wronged, and our concern was for her, as well as for Leslie to admit this problem and seek professional help.
In mid-June, the victim called Barry, extremely upset, and pleaded that he couldn’t just let this information go. She gave him the name of one woman she knew that had been offended by Leslie White, even though she was going against her wishes to be named. It seemed as if this was the only way he would believe there were others harmed by Leslie and this was not an isolated event. Barry again reiterated that he would not “surge ahead of God.” He stated that he didn’t think there was a problem with Leslie. When she asked what Barry was planning to do, he stated that he was choosing to do nothing!
The victim then told Barry that she felt sure that Leslie would do it again, and if he did, the responsibility would then be with Barry for doing nothing. Barry ended the conversation by stating, “Just remember, you’ll suffer the consequences for every choice you make. If I remove or rebuke a brother, I suffer the consequences for that.”
Within a few days, Barry left an email for the victim that stated that he wanted to know exactly what she needed to settle this in her mind, and to let him know right away. We assume that he may have spoken to the woman the victim had named. The victim again reiterated that she felt Leslie should be removed from his position, attend counseling, and apologize for all he had said, and that a letter should be formulated letting others know what had occurred. The only thing that Barry agreed to was an apology from Leslie, however, the victim wanted it done in person and handled by professionals rather than the workers.
In late June, the Chicago Mediation Specialist, Al Livingstone, was contacted. He met with the victim, alone, and then with Leslie, which was to be alone. Bruce Shaw was asked to take Leslie to the meeting, and then was called into the meeting by Dr. Livingstone, and asked several questions as well; he was sitting in an adjoining room able to hear all that was being said.
At this point, Tim and I are stating that we can no longer stand by and wait for Leslie to make another mistake like this one. If this is an illness, he needs to seek treatment, immediately. The next event could be with a sister worker, a needy person asking for help, a child, or an innocent young woman. We believe that it’s irresponsible on the part of our overseers to allow a man, who others are aware has come close to the line in the past, to be allowed to continue going in and out of hundreds of homes, unchecked. It poses a serious threat to young women and children. Leslie is very complimentary of women, and has stated on many occasions that our daughters are “beautiful.” That in itself never stood out as a problem to me, although I had never experienced a worker saying it over and over about my daughters.
Of greater concern, is the fact that Leslie is still lying about what he said to the victim that evening. He stated at the final meeting with the Mediation Specialist on September 12, 2009, that he had not sworn before God that he had never been alone with a woman, or spoken about sexual matters. Five of us witnessed that statement at our dining room table at the April meeting. He also said he had not asked her about orgasm. He said, rather, that he had looked it up in a dictionary because he didn’t know how to say it. That’s not what he said in our presence!! Again, all five of us witnessed that statement at our home, and sat in shock and horror as he said it! Additionally, he stated at the final meeting, that he couldn’t remember all that had been said at our home that night; it was all a grey blur, and that maybe he had been thinking of the time when he was engaged, and this was the reason he asked some of the questions!!!! Something is terribly wrong here.
Simply put, Barry seems to think that this formal apology with Al Livingstone will be sufficient, and it is no longer a concern of God’s family; it is being handled professionally, and there are many other concerns in God’s family, according to what he told the victim.
Yes, that’s true, but this is of utmost concern, because it causes a complete lack of trust in our workers who are aware of the situation and have chosen to do nothing but move him away from the Chicago area. And it remains a concern, because the meeting came about as a chance to speak to the victim about her place with God and her soul. So this is still a concern of God’s family!
It would seem wise to ask Leslie to take a leave of absence for a time to assess this situation. The danger is that there will be a lack of respect for The Truth because this man is being allowed to continue in his position; some are aware that this has happened before. Due to the extremely graphic nature of the conversation Leslie had with the victim, you must understand that this is not tolerated in the workplace or in any other religious or school setting. By not removing Leslie from his position, you are allowing the most pure message of Jesus to be mixed with pollution and dirt from Leslie. They don’t mix; it’s like oil and water, they aren’t meant to be mixed. God’s word CANNOT be polluted by one with such extreme human failings who doesn’t seem to understand the gravity of the situation.
Why is Barry not as concerned and sickened as the victim, Tim and I are? Why is Barry not concerned about the name of the Truth, and it being tarnished? Why is Barry not concerned that Leslie is still lying, before God, the victim, Jim Price and Al Livingstone, at the final meeting, about what he did? Why is Barry not concerned for the sake of the Truth and how it appears before others when we allow this minister to continue, knowing his behavior has been completely inappropriate? Lying is a deadly sin, and why does one lie? It’s only to make something appear less serious, but the consequences of lying are so much more serious. Lying can mean the loss of our eternal salvation, unless we repent of it. Lust is just as serious!
At the final meeting, it was suggested that some of the workers take a class in “Sensitivity Training.” This is all well and good, but doesn’t come close to being an answer to this particular case of sexual misconduct.
In the George J. Mitchell commencement address to MIT in 2003, he said, “Never forget that in the presence of evil, silence makes you an accomplice.” We cannot keep silence in a situation that is clearly pertaining to evil, or mental illness. Tim and I were raised to understand right from wrong behavior; right is right and never changes. When something is utterly wrong, it changes how we value and respect the things we’ve always held as sacred, when they are being represented by someone who can speak to a young woman in this manner. We are only being responsible citizens in God’s Kingdom as we break our silence and bring these matters to your attention.
Thank you for taking the time to listen to our account of this experience. We would welcome your thoughts, and pray that you see the seriousness of this matter, and how hurtful this extremely inappropriate conversation, namely sexual misconduct, was with the victim, and is to us, her friends. This behavior cannot be tolerated in God’s Kingdom.
Tim and Beth (Laswell) Boelter
Feel free to share wherever with whomever.
February 22, 2010
[Addendum to Letter to Jim Price (above) September 15, 2009]
For your information, I am writing an addendum to the above letter, since we are now aware of additional information, which has come from reliable sources, or has been our experience, personally.
The following details have come to our attention:
- Five sisters workers in MN told Lyle Schober that if LW showed up at their convention, they would leave! (Occurred several years ago)
- A mother of two from Indianapolis, IN, reported to me in late October 2009, that she had a similar experience with LW in January, 2008. She was asked questions that were leading, and explicit, over the phone; she ended the conversation without answering LW’s questions. Those questions were as follows: (1) How is your sex life? (2) Does your husband ask you to dress sexy to turn him on? (3) Does your husband look at other women?
- An elder and his wife, in Indianapolis, are very uncomfortable with LW’s demeaning of women, and scriptural issues; October 2009
- It was reported to me that there is a woman under “medical care,” because of a previous experience with LW, in Kansas. This had been previously reported to Barry Barkley (over a year before), and was being reported again because nothing had been done; October 2009.
- A “sister” in IN reported to Barry Barkley that following special meetings in Indiana, February, 2009, comments were made by LW which made her uncomfortable in front of young brother workers; she asked that her name not be used. Barry Barkley told this to Tim, personally, at the time of his visit in April 2009.
- In speaking to those in our meeting in November 2009, Beth heard from numerous people that they “weren’t surprised,” by what she reported. More than one commented that LW seems to be fixated on the “sexual” subject matter.
- Two sister workers in IA were made to feel uncomfortable in LW’s presence; this had been reported to Barry Barkley before our April 2009 meeting, as it had occurred several years before.
- LW has continued to travel on his own, not only in IN/IL, but to OH, as reported by some he has visited. LW was told in April 2009, by Barry Barkley, while at our home, that this was not to occur any longer,.
- We have learned that LW was put on probation on October 23, 2009, following a meeting in TX, where the enclosed letter, and concerns of that letter were discussed. This information was given to me, personally, by Duane Hopkins, whom I phoned on November 21, 2009, in a plea for help. Duane apologized to me for our need to be involved, said this issue had no place in the ministry, and that he took it very seriously. Who has been told of the “probation”? Do any other workers know this, and if not, then what good does it do?
To all this, we continue to ask how these inconsistencies with a ministerial position can have been allowed to continue, over the course of years. What was reported at our home in April 2009, was not a first occurrence, and it seems that a pattern of behavior had already been established.
We are also aware of other instances of workers, throughout the United States, involved in sexual misconduct issues. Why is it that we cannot deal with sexual misconduct? This is one of the most offensive things imaginable. It seems so clear to us that anyone who has admitted, or been proven to be guilty of sexual misconduct must leave the work immediately, and seek treatment. We look to the workers as a “safe” place to share concerns and speak of spiritual matters; trust is completely shattered when these events take place, and those who are guilty of offending others are left in their place. It is also an abuse of the authority, of which we grant our workers in spiritual matters.
Failure to deal with such abhorrent behavior has caused undue stress, and, as a result, there are many who have already left the faith, or are considering what steps to take. This type of conduct has no place in the ministry.
The shunning of victims of abuse, questioning the validity of the accusations, or shunning those who are advocates for the abused, is just as terrible. This great concern of Tim and me, for well over a year now, would not be occurring if we didn’t feel that our “faith” wasn’t worth fighting for. Tim and I, nor our families, have ever been involved in any controversial issues in the past; not for an instant, however, did we feel that this matter could be left unspoken. We have been told that “this is not our concern,” “we need to leave this to God,” “we must make contact with LW, and ask him to repent so that we can forgive him,” and “unless this occurs, Beth should not feel that she can take part in the meetings!” We were also told that we were in jeopardy of losing our salvation, “unless we forgave him.”
The focus continues to be on everyone but the actual offenders and the issues at stake. We’ve even been told, “the actions/choices of subject of discussion are a reflection on the minister/person, but in no way a reflection of the MINISTRY!” The same worker that made the statements listed above, told us that he saw nothing wrong with what LW had done or said, and that it was none of his concern, either. We should have every concern for our brothers; both their well-being, and how they reflect upon the family of God.
In summary, this is no longer an issue just pertaining to LW’s offense in Chicago. There are other cases where he has offended other women in the same manner, not in Chicago. Forgiving LW does not “fix” the much greater problem. That is, namely, what is causing LW to think and speak to others in this manner, without realizing it is harmful? This behavior needs to be examined to determine the cause, and, the resulting conclusions should determine his ability to continue in the work. It is setting a very dangerous precedent to allow someone with this behavior the freedom to travel, visit, and stay overnight with anyone.
In the much bigger picture, there seems to be an overabundance of cases of sexual abuse, sexual misconduct, child abuse, or child sexual misconduct that are either not dealt with, or taking much too long to deal with. Those overseeing this ministry should be dealing quickly and decisively with anyone who is determined to be involved in this type of activity. When all those in the ministry are aware that hiding this problem, or keeping it from others is not the way to deal with it, and all are aware that it will not be allowed, period, it is possible that trust can be restored. When we find out that our overseers have known and are aware of repeated offenses, but have led us to believe that they aren’t aware of any past activity, it completely breaks your trust and confidence; it’s devastating!
I am hoping that you will read the letter written September 15, 2009 to Jim Price in its entirety in order to get a clear picture of what occurred within the year 2009. This addendum only serves to bolster our feelings and concerns for this terrible behavior that is far too common in our faith, and we beg you to consider this matter seriously.
Thank you,
Tim and Beth (Laswell) Boelter
Feel free to share wherever with whomever.
Letter to Leslie White sent June 24, 2023
By a very small representation of his many victims.
Copy to Barry Barkley, Ray Hoffman, Lyle Schober, Duane Hopkins, Jim Price, and Bruce Shaw.
To: Leslie White,
This letter is for you, from all of us known and unknown who you have abused through your terrible misuse of assumed power. Please know that we in this letter are only a small representation of the lives you have personally damaged.
You have molested us, raped us, had inappropriate sexual conversations with us, touched us inappropriately, hugged and kissed us forcibly, against our will, asked us inappropriate questions, you have demeaned, threatened, groomed us, made us trust you, coerced and forced us to be a part of things we didn’t ask for and that we didn’t want to be a part of in any way, shape or form.
You have robbed us of much, taken our power and silenced our voices but we are here to say no more, enough!
No longer do we fear you, no longer will we be silent, lest we also would be amongst those who have in their silence and inaction enable you to continue to abuse and ruin the lives of precious souls.
We are taking back our power.
Now it is our turn to do the asking.
We request that you would acknowledge your abuse of us all and that you would permanently remove yourself from all meetings and gatherings effective immediately. This is in accordance with how the scriptures tell us that evil doers like yourself should be handled.
After all that you have taken from us we are not asking much.
You are a predator, a violator, you are not safe to be around women and children. This is mercy for your soul to remove you from temptations which you so obviously cannot refuse.
~~~~~
JoNell McDaniel: Leslie was so overpowering and flew so deeply under the radar. I was so afraid of him.
Leslie loved to visit me alone at my house and in his secluded little cabin on the convention grounds in Elizabeth.
He asked me to buy him a couple of ties, because his were getting worn.
Of course, he wanted me to deliver those to the cabin during convention.
He was on such a power trip.
He makes me sick.
~~~~~
Anonymous: When I was in my 30’s Leslie’s abuse was on going over a period of several years. Leslie would come through and visit alone on his way to overseer meetings in Tennessee. I experienced inappropriate touching and sexually explicit comments and conversations. His abuse had such a physical, emotional and mental affect on me and made me so ill that for quite some time I couldn’t even care for myself.
I reported and shared my handwritten account with the sheriff’s dept in 2012.
~~~~~
Kim: Leslie abused me in my 40s. A meeting took place sometime around 2000/2002 with Leslie, Marlon Halbakken Marge Major, along with my grandma Maxine Felton. I begged that Leslie would step down from the work as I felt he wouldn’t stop his behaviour and it would only get worse. Leslie’s abuse of me included unwelcome visits to a lady alone in her home. Inappropriate sexual conversations, Inappropriate touching, forced kissing. Leslie stole my soul and I hate that.
I reported to sheriffs dept in 2012.
~~~~~
Laura (Jelinek) van Dijken: I was around 22 years old and had been in the work for about 2 years and 3 months when I was raped by Leslie White at Elizabeth preps in Colorado in 2003.
Leslie said he would do a walk through of the area where I’d been working that day.
He raped me up in the nursery, told me to clean up the mess and I was threatened among other things he said that I would would be put out of the work and out of meetings if I ever spoke up and that no one would believe me, that they would believe him because of who he was.
I still remember the sound of that door shutting.
I shoved the trauma under to survive and went on with my life and never said a word. I was called to go in the work and I didn’t want to have to leave and I definitely didn’t want to be told I couldn’t go to meetings.
Plus Leslie was my overseer, the one making the plans for my life. Who was I supposed to turn to? So I just pretended everything was fine and I believed it was…until it wasn’t.
In 2011 I returned from working in Finland/ Scandinavia. I was not feeling well at all. I hadn’t really been sleeping for quite some time because it didn’t feel safe. By that time I was very sick and felt like my body was shutting down. It felt like it was saying “You’re not taking care of me so I’m not working for you anymore.
I went to York convention that year and found out shortly beforehand that Leslie was supposed to be there. He cornered me at some point in the dining shed and asked me if I was still keeping silent. I said yes. I ended up speaking in the same meeting as him and felt so sick.
In 2012 I was put in touch with a professional trauma counselor who was a huge part of what essentially helped save my life. I was diagnosed with complex PTSD and hyper vigilance. I was so busy throwing myself into taking care of others so I wouldn’t have to feel or deal with my own pain but I could hardly function. I remember having thoughts while driving the road and thinking how nice it would be to be hit by a truck and just have all the pain ended and over with.
I eventually disclosed the rape to my counselor and in time he helped me tell my sister who was my co-worker at the time.
In April of 2012 I finally got to the place of desperation where I could no longer remain silent about what Leslie did.
I knew that if I keep silent the abuse would continue.
I wrote to Lyle Schober, he called me, he let Ray Hoffman know and Ray was in touch with Leslie.
I had a meeting with Ray, Lyle, my sister, my 1st co worker and a friend who works in the legal department concerning sexual abuse in mid May.
Ray and Lyle said they couldn’t make the decision for me but that they strongly encouraged me to report to the sheriff’s department in Colorado and they said that it would be the leverage that would need to get Leslie out of the ministry.
I was told this was mercy for Leslie because maybe it would help him to realize what he’d done and take it seriously and that maybe it would be a chance for him to repent and make things right.
I didn’t want to report to the sheriff’s dept and relive the horror that this man had done to me but at the same time I desperately wanted Leslie’s abuse of women stopped.
I reported to the sheriffs dept in May 2012. Ray informed Leslie that day that effective immediately he was no longer in the work.
During the course of the investigation I was told that many many reports had come in from all over the US.
The nature of these reports was anything from someone feeling uncomfortable around Leslie, unwanted sexual conversations or questions, grooming behaviour, visiting women alone, inappropriate touching forced kissing etc.
In spite of the countless reports that came in to the investigator it unfortunately never went court. The case went inactive last year after 10 years.
From all I’ve heard Leslie has continued his behaviour and because of Ray Hoffman’s refusal to put him out of all meetings and Ray and other overseers refusal to write a letter and notify the church (the people) of Leslie’s behaviour and lack of repentance his behaviour has been allowed to continued and his abuse of women and young girls has been enabled.
In 2012 Ray Hoffman looked me in the eye and promised and assured me that Leslie White would never be in the work again, yet in April of 2023, 11 years later, it was discovered that Ray himself was letting Leslie speak in gospel meetings. When asked why, Ray answered; “Maybe not the wisest choice”.
I cannot help but feel righteous anger that Leslie wasn’t removed from the work long ago. Barry Barkley and Ray Hoffman are partially responsible for all those who were abused after the very first time they heard of his behaviour and essentially did nothing. A friend in Colorado told me in 2012 that her Aunt had had problems with him in Georgia 50 years before this. Your knowledge of Leslie’s abuse has never been 1 isolated occasion that you could write off as a simple innocent lack of judgement.
~~~~~
Anonymous: I want to talk about shame.
SHAME. It’s what I’ve been cloaked in for such a long time. It’s what I felt at convention one year when I was 12/13 when a brother worker who was very well respected by everyone sexually assaulted me.
SHAME. It’s what I felt that same convention when I took too many of my anti-anxiety meds and started having issues breathing.
SHAME. It’s what I felt when the ambulance had to come get me from the convention grounds.
SHAME. It’s what I felt when my parents had to come pick me up after getting my stomach pumped.
SHAME. It’s what I felt when that same brother worker wrote a letter to my parents telling them that due to my ‘suicide attempt’ I was no longer welcome on those convention grounds.
SHAME. Red hot. Creeping up my face. I felt it in my bones. I tried years to bury it. I used drugs, alcohol, I cut myself, I DID try to commit suicide. More than once.
SHAME led to self hatred led to very abusive relationships and a self destructive lifestyle that I’m lucky I survived from at all.
SHAME is what I talked about today in therapy. Years of it rolled down my face as I said that brother workers name.
SHAME is what HE should feel, having hurt many others besides me.
I put my shame back on him, I put my shame on the fact he’s still (to my knowledge less than a month ago) ACTIVELY participating in meetings.
He should feel every ounce of his survivors shame, every bit of our fear, our sadness our collective pain. He did MUCH WORSE to others than he did to me.
He should be ostracized, cast out.
He should be IN PRISON for the acts he’s committed.
But he isn’t. He’s free.
And finally after years and years, I’m free too.
SHAME: I put it all back on you, Leslie White.
~~~~~
Tava Z: I was 9 years old when Leslie molested me in my house. The abuse was on going. Reported to PI Liles 2023.
~~~~~
Anonymous: I’ve been asked to share a bit about my experiences with Leslie White, both as a teenager and again as a young married woman. I was probably 15-16 when he appeared (unexpectedly) at a gathering of young people in our home. He was “holding court” with all the young girls clinging to his every word. I was very uncomfortable with the whole situation. When it was time for him to leave, he was hugging the women/girls and shaking hands with the men. When he got to me, I awkwardly extended my hand to shake and he ignored that and pulled me into a hug that was a very inappropriate “full frontal” hug. I quickly extricated myself and pushed away from him. I thought I had, through my body language, made my opinion of him crystal clear.
Several years later, when I moved to the state where he was the overseer, I heard stories from the other married ladies of LW showing up, alone and uninvited, to their homes when their husbands would be gone working. I thought, “he’d never do that to me, he knows I don’t like him at all.” I was quite surprised when he showed up, not once, not twice, but three different times. Each time, he was alone, uninvited, and my husband was gone. The first time, I ignored the bell because I had been warned he just stopped down the street and was in the neighborhood. (Imagine that, the professing ladies playing a game of telephone to warn one another that the overseer was making his rounds, alone, to see the married ladies!?) The second time I told him that I believed in the verse that said abstain from even the appearance of evil so he wouldn’t be coming into my house when I was there alone. The third time, he called through the door and said that he just needed to use the telephone. Again, I refused him entry while I was there alone and told him there was a pay phone at the gas station down the road.
In all of these interactions, I felt like he was testing my response to see what he could get by with. I was never raised to worship workers and was always told by my parents that if something feels wrong, trust your gut. I am very thankful for that. I am also thankful for the more experienced, slightly older married ladies in my town who had warned several of us that were newly married and quite young that this may happen. Their courage to speak up gave us the courage to say no when he showed up uninvited. While these things were not criminal, they were definitely inappropriate and not the behavior of a true servant of God.
~~~~~
Anonymous: I was a teenager when Leslie was around my sister and I a lot. He would hug us and was very touchy feely with us and it made us so uncomfortable.
~~~~~
Anonymous: At convention in August, 2008, Leslie White spoke to me briefly in the dining tent about returning to the meetings, and having a part again, following my divorce.
He mentioned that he would be in touch to find a time to have that conversation.
In January, 2009, Leslie was having gospel meetings in the area, and contacted me to follow through on his earlier promise to have a conversation about meetings.
Leslie invited me to join him and his
companion for dinner with the purpose of providing me with an opportunity to return to meetings, have a part, following my divorce several years earlier.
Leslie asked me numerous times to meet at my home for dinner, to which I replied that I did not feel comfortable with two men in my home, alone. We agreed to meet at a restaurant for dinner, however, only Leslie attended and made an excuse as to why his companion did not attend.
Following conversation about family and life, with dinner finished, Leslie stated that he wasn’t finished with our meeting. I suggested that we could go to a coffee shop, to which he stated that he didn’t want more coffee.
He suggested that we go to my house; I denied that request repeatedly, stating that it was inappropriate, and he should not consider that an option.
Leslie continued to try to break me down to convince me to allow him to come to my home, which included statements that he didn’t care if things weren’t in order, or that he wouldn’t go upstairs. After offering several public locations to continue the meeting, Leslie finally agreed to meet at a large public mall, in view of others. At this location, the conversation turned to a far more personal subject involving my relationship with my ex-husband, specifically my sexual relationship with my ex-husband.
For reference, here are some of the questions he asked me:
1. Did you ever have pleasure with your husband?
2. How often did the two of you have sex?
3. Could my husband get an erection?
4. Did he ejaculate?
5. What did I do to excite him?
6. Did I get him to masturbate?
7. Did he think your body was attractive?
8. Did he look at other women?
9. In the times you did have sex, was he able to get you wet?
10. “Any man with one red blood cell would have sex with you.” Statement by LW
11. Leslie said he would have sex with me.
12. Leslie said he would even marry me if he were younger.
13. Leslie said I was an absolutely beautiful woman with a beautiful body.
14. Leslie told me that he loved me 4 or 5 times during the evening conversation.
Following this very uncomfortable conversation, I felt extremely violated by someone I had been taught to trust and respect.
I reached out to friends from meeting that I knew I could trust with this sensitive
information. Without hesitation, they began to advocate for me and initiated contact with Barry Barkley.
Barry flew from the East Coast to attend a meeting at this couples’ home, where Leslie, Barry, the couple, myself, and an Elder from the area spent 3 hours in a conversation about the incident. Leslie denied everything that I mentioned he had said to me that evening.
However, during a pause in conversation, he blurted out, “I did ask you about orgasm.” “Did I say that right?” This was the moment his entire denial would be seen as a lie, when he convicted himself.
Over the course of many months, emails were exchanged with workers who had been put in charge of handling this situation by covering his behavior as “he’s just a human, and we all make mistakes,” calling me “a troubled woman,” asking for additional time to see if there was a pattern to Leslie’s behavior or if it was a one-time occurrence.
At my request for outside intervention, a mediation specialist heard both parties separately, and then together for a final meeting, in August 2010.
At that final meeting, Leslie denied he’d ever mentioned any of the above-mentioned statements, including the orgasm comment. The mediation specialist gave a dire warning that unless a system was put into place where people could feel free from the fear of retaliation or disbelief by coming forward in abusive experiences, that this behavior would continue amongst the ministry, and it would not stand the test of time.
He asked that the worker, Jim Price, who was acting as witness for the final meeting, agree to such a system, to which he refused by stating that those decisions would need to come from Barry Barkley.
The mediation specialist suggested Ministry Safe as a means that all workers/ministers should take, to better understand their roles, and safekeeping as they stayed in other’s homes.
Barry Barkley continued to remain in touch with me through email, often discussing his travels and time with various workers and friends, never making mention of the incident with Leslie and how it was progressing.
It is now 2023, and in light of all that is happening in the Truth, I felt compelled to include my experience, knowing that Leslie White was never held accountable for his behavior, but was allowed to continue in the Work, often meeting with other women alone, and traveling without a companion.
To all the workers who were involved in this situation, investigation, and mediation that chose to blame the victim while protecting the abuser, you are just as liable and responsible for promoting dishonesty, immorality and illegal behaviors within the Truth.
~~~~~
A mother: In light of all that has been brought to the attention of workers and friends in the last few months, regarding CSA, SA, sexual harassment, and inappropriate behavior within the ministry, I felt it was necessary to share concerns that I felt with comments Leslie White made to me in regards to my then 13 year old daughter, at convention.
Leslie had just arrived in IN, and was getting acquainted with everyone between meetings. I was in the meeting shed when he came up to me, and stated that he had met my youngest daughter, and she was “absolutely stunning,” and the most beautiful young girl he’d ever met!
He went on with similar comments for a minute or so, I thanked him, and then moved on.
At the moment he said those things, a flash of concern ran through my mind, just for a split second, because it seemed so passionate and a little unexpected from a male worker. I reassured myself that my thought was entirely wrong, and actually felt guilty for even considering some concern, as we often heard people compliment our girls’ appearance.
What I was unaware of was the fact that Leslie White made a practice of this behavior and conversation.
What seemed as an innocent compliment may have been nothing more, in this case, as I kept a close eye on my children. But Momma Bear would’ve certainly stopped at nothing to protect my children had anything else seemed out of line.
~~~~~
Anonymous: I was abused by Leslie in Indiana around 2009. I was young, beautiful, and in a difficult relationship. Leslie thought he could prey on me by phone. He asked me sexually inappropriate questions. I hung up on him because of my disgust.
~~~~~
Anonymous: In 1987 Leslie was visiting at our home. I think he was overseer of iowa at the time. I was 14 and he told me that he noticed I had slimmed down and that my figure was looking good. It was awkward. I can’t remember if my mom overheard him say it, but I did discuss it with her. Everyone thought Leslie was the greatest so everything he did or said was perfect.
In July/August of 1993 when I was 19 and about to turn 20, I had just given birth two weeks prior (pregnancy from being raped by a professing family member that I was protecting at the time), and I was visiting my parents when Leslie also came to their place after Brownstown, IL convention. Leslie lectured me at length that if I kept myself pure I could be forgiven and could be eligible for marriage. (I had always believed and heard growing up in meetings that the workers were so close to God they would say and do the right thing even if they didn’t know the whole story.) The next morning my siblings and I all took a picture with Leslie and he had his arm wrapped around my waist for the picture and I was SO uncomfortable!!!
I believe Leslie was trying to be encouraging to me and he probably didn’t realize how uncomfortable I was feeling in both instances. I don’t believe he was coming on to me, but it was truly a lack of boundaries on his part.
I wish I could find that picture. I think it’s somewhere at my parents and it would take quite a bit of time to locate it.
~~~~~
Cynthia Liles, PI: Information on the internet indicated White had finally been removed from the work in 2012 after years of complaints and the allegation of rape.
I noticed online there were a couple of comments suggesting White was actually still in the work in Maine. I learned in late March or early April of 2023 that Ray Hoffman indeed had let him back in the work by letting him speak in gospel meetings.
This was confirmed with Ray in a phone call.
Over the course of the last 3 months and even before the news of Dean Bruer broke I have received numerous messages and calls in regards to Leslie White.
~~~~~
A note to the administrators, workers elders and friends everywhere. We plead with you in the meekness and gentleness of Christ, do not ignore the crimes of this man and others any longer.
We beg you to deal with every perpetrators according to God’s clear scripture and in and with God’s Spirit.
The question needs to be asked;
WHY victims are so often not believed, not supported, not validated.
Why are there so many concessions for the violators, why do you protect them, cover up what they’ve done and dismiss and re-traumatize us?
Why do you allow them to continue abusing others?
We feel that it is because the violators and perpetrators are most often well known, someone in a place of power.
While the victims are most often unable to reveal their identity (they shouldn’t have to) and so to you they remain faceless and nameless.
So let us introduce ourselves and just know that every victim falls into one or more of these categories. We are women, we are mothers, we are your sisters, daughters, nieces, we are your sister workers, we are grandmothers and from a even less heard from group sometimes we are men, boys, your sons, nephews, uncles, fathers and grandfather’s.
Most of all we are God’s children, we are souls and we matter too.
Whether we were children or adults when the abuse happened, whether our abuser or abuse was one time or many, whether we still go to meeting or not, we matter.
Please don’t lend a deaf ear or turn a blind eye to us anymore.
Sincerely,
A very small representation of the many.
June 24, 2023
Feel free to share wherever with whomever.
June 28, 2023
Letter to Barry Barkley, Ray Hoffman, Lyle Schober, Duane Hopkins, Jim Price and Bruce Shaw:
My heart has been so moved to write to you, some 14 years after we experienced the “calling” to advocate for a young, single woman in our area, who cautiously shared with me the experience of sexual harassment she had recently suffered, with Leslie White.
Some of you would have received my letter of concern, and request that Leslie be removed from the work, until further details could be determined, back in 2009. That letter went unanswered, except for Jim Price. Jim’s statement was simply that Leslie liked to acknowledge women’s beauty, as a compliment, but he was not aware of any situations that caused undue concern, in fact, all he had spoken with were of the agreement that Leslie presented no issues of concern.
As scripture dictates, upon hearing the full story from the victim, we immediately got in touch with you, Barry, and along with a witness (Chicago elder) met in our home, around the dining table with Tim and I, the Victim, a Chicago elder, Leslie White and Barry Barkley.
Leslie’s first words upon entering our home were, “Is this a jury, and what are the charges?” There had been no communication on our part except with Barry, as to the deep concern we had for what had transpired in conversation with the victim. How was it that Leslie’s first comment was “what were the charges?” Was he aware of something that had transpired between he and The victim that could be considered worth a jury? Or with someone else?
After beginning with a prayer, Barry asked that each of the two share their accounts.
To explain the setting, the purpose for which Leslie had invited The Victim to join him and his companion for dinner (Jan 2009) was that he was going to give her the opportunity to return to meetings, and have a part, following her divorce several years earlier. What occurred was a denial on Leslie’s part of any of the questions the victim stated that Leslie had asked her, until he convicted himself by stating that he had in fact, asked her about orgasm. This was the proof that God had forced out of Leslie’s mouth.
A question of this matter was surely proof that there had been a conversation that was way out of line, inappropriate, and leading to something far worse. Where does it ever become appropriate for the workers to ask questions of such a nature? You are not trained professionals in this area, nor should you really have any authority to speak on it, if you are living a celibate life. Yet, there seemed to be no reaction from Barry, whatsoever, as to how vile this conversation had been.
Some of those inappropriate and explicit questions can be viewed in the letter posted by Laura van Dijken, as it was detailed in one of the many excerpts from victims of Leslie’s.
I am the advocate mentioned in this victim’s excerpt. If you have not read that letter written to Leslie White, and sent 6/24/23, please refer here for a list of his questions:
1. Did she ever have pleasure with her husband?
2. How often did they have sex?
3. Could her husband get an erection?
4. Did he ejaculate?
5. What did she do to excite him?
6. Did she get him to masturbate?
7. Did he think her body was attractive?
8. Did he look at other women?
9. In the times they did have sex, was he able to get her wet?
10. “Any man with one red blood cell would have sex with her.” LW
11. LW said he would have sex with her.
12. LW said he would even marry her if he were younger.
13. LW said she was an absolutely beautiful woman with a beautiful body.
14. LW told her that he loved her 4 or 5 times during the evening conversation.
Leslie raised his hand to the heavens and stated, “God is my witness, I have never had a conversation with anyone about sexual matters, and I’ve never gone alone with a woman for dinner.” “I was a fool for going alone with the victim.” “I was a fool.” Within 30 minutes of that statement, however, he began talking about another couple he was counselling in IN, and mentioned the man had purchased “toys,” to which he had again contradicted what he’d just said!
Barry requested that Leslie not have any further conversations of this sort, with anyone, that he not travel alone, and that the subjects he chose to speak on in gospel meetings would not be inappropriate or ones that would make others feel uncomfortable, especially with children present.
What followed is the important part of my story and is meant to clarify that while we tried to advocate for this young woman, we were met with attitudes and opinions that I was not prepared for. I assumed that the workers response would be swift towards removing Leslie until they could make a better determination as to If there had been any other incidents like this, caring concern towards the victim, and appreciation of our efforts to protect other innocent women.
As Barry rode with my husband to the airport the next morning, he stated that it was best not to surge ahead of God in judgment. Barry told Tim that there would have to be further consideration as to whether this was a one-time occurrence, of which he stated that he knew of no other reports of this type of behavior, but if there was found to be a pattern of this behavior, then there would be a far greater matter to deal with. Barry did state, however, that he had received a report from a young sister worker that felt uncomfortable by Leslie’s conversation with her in front of younger brother workers, following the Special Meetings just recently completed in IN! We believed Barry’s statement, however, as we’d never heard of anything being reported against Leslie, or for that fact, any other of the workers!
Within weeks of the meeting in our home, my father called to tell me that his brother had just had a visit with Leslie, in Southern IN, when Leslie traveled there by himself; he was going on from there to another of my Aunt and Uncle’s, just to visit! My extended family knew nothing of this request Barry had made, nor of my involvement as an advocate for the victim, nor the sexual harassment the victim had experienced, nor did they have any reason to question why Leslie had come for an unannounced visit! My father knew more, however, as I had shared my heart with him for many hours during the months and months of this difficult experience.
About a month following our meeting, Barry called just to see how we were faring. I explained that the concern for protecting innocent victims, as well as LW’s spiritual well-being, his mental well-being, were still of greatest concern, as well as concern for future events such as this. Barry stated that it was a difficult situation because he was very familiar with both parties, and he didn’t believe either one to be purposefully speaking untruths, however, things did not line up with their stories, “it was a gray area,” because there was no proof of anything! He stated that some people say things quickly, and forget what they have said, and that perhaps things have become enlarged in the victim’s mind. This is called intimidation, casting doubt, and minimization, which is deflecting on what really happened!
To this, I stated, “but Barry, you do recall the statement that Leslie made, at the table, which was a confession of his behavior, don’t you?” Barry said he did not recall what I meant! I asked for permission to repeat Leslie’s statement, twice, before hesitatingly repeating what Leslie had said regarding orgasm. Barry said, “I had forgotten that.” This was the most incriminating and defining statement of the entire conversation that night. How could it have been forgotten?
Before anyone questions how I have recall of specific statements, I will add that every conversation I had with anyone during this timeframe, in regards to this subject, I was taking notes. I have documented records with dates!
Barry mentioned that they had met with two additional Senior male workers very recently, to discuss the situation, of which they agreed that Leslie should be carefully observed for any out of line discussions, in meetings, or with women, but especially not being left alone. I then reminded him of that request he had made in our home, and told him that Leslie was not following those orders, because I’d been made aware of his visits in IN to my relatives! Barry finished our conversation by saying that he would rather err on the side of being too slow to make the next move, rather than acting swiftly. Had this incriminating statement even been relayed to the other brothers?
The next 6 months were consumed with emails from Bruce Shaw, first wanting us to meet with 2 additional workers and the victim, which was then canceled because Barry had told him it would be worthless, a useless “he said, she said,” meeting like the last one! And, because I felt such an urgency for this matter, as Leslie continued to preach in gospel meetings, visit in homes, travel alone and with a co-worker, it seemed that nothing had changed!
The victim was in touch with Barry, pleading that something more be done. She relayed to me his comments: It seemed as if the only way he would believe there were others harmed by Leslie was to give the names of others that the victim had had conversations with, to prove that this was not an isolated event. Barry again reiterated that he would not “surge ahead of God.” He stated that he didn’t think there was a problem with Leslie.
When she asked what Barry was planning to do, he stated that he was choosing to do nothing! The victim then told Barry that she felt sure that Leslie would do it again, and if he did, the responsibility would then be with Barry for doing nothing. Barry ended the conversation by stating, “Just remember, you’ll suffer the consequences for every choice you make. If I remove or rebuke a brother, I suffer the consequences for that.” Does this not imply that Barry is more concerned about Leslie White than any of his victims!
Here’s where we began to realize that some unexpected things were happening, due to our continued involvement! I became aware that our names had been removed from the general friends’ email list. Our names were missing! Not that we would have even known we weren’t getting emails, but friends in the meeting realized that we had been left off the list, and thought it was just a simple mistake. This is called ex-communication, and shunning. And why, because I would not bury my head nor promise not to mention it again, as Bruce had requested!
I did not irresponsibly send emails to everyone I knew, in fact, I said nothing to any of those I continued to meet with on Sundays and Wednesdays, following the initial one-on-one meeting I had with each of the families, just to make them aware of the situation and what we felt moved to do.
I voiced my concern to Duane Hopkins via phone call, and two emails. I was told to leave it to the workers, and that trusting them would bring peace, rather than the emotional upset I was seeing my children and myself experience because of the dire circumstances we were facing in being called “troublemakers, unforgiving, hard-hearted, and being involved in issues that were not ours to be involved with.”
I was also told by Duane that it was NOT a practice to move workers from place to place, after incidences like this, or worse! We know differently and have evidence of workers consistently being moved to another state when accusations have been made so they can remain unaddressed and unresolved. Duane also mentioned that in a recent workers meeting in TN, Leslie had been put on “probation.” He was to be watched for anything that was out of line, and he had promised to never do it again. Was this relayed to other workers, though, and friends? Was anyone made aware of this probation?
I heard the statements underlined above in the Sunday meetings for 1.5 years, nearly every meeting, by about half of those present, and from workers that visited the meeting too. I drove to meeting feeling nauseous and so anxious for what might be said, and every meeting except when there were visitors, it was the same.
And, I cried all the way home! Instead of feeling free to uphold the standard that should’ve been set, advocating for victims of harm, supporting those willing to take a stand against abuse and harm, I believe that every one of those people were afraid of losing their place, losing their respect by the workers, and they’d rather lose friends than speak out, so they said nothing to support us in this effort, or to call out those that were doing wrong that they themselves had previously been aware of. Perhaps they spoke of the situation among themselves, but none came back to us for further clarification.
The victim requested outside intervention, and a mediation specialist heard both parties separately, and then together for a final meeting with the victim, Leslie, Jim Price, (Colorado Overseer), acting as a witness, and the mediation specialist. Leslie again denied all that he had been accused of saying.
The mediation specialist gave a clear and dire warning, that unless a system was put into place with the church making it known that reporting abuse could be done without fear of retaliation, shunning, and disbelief, abuse would continue within the ministry, and it would become difficult to stand the test of time. He asked for a written statement that this system would be put into place, which was denied, stating that only Barry Barkley could make that decision. Ministry Safe classes were suggested as a means of making the worker staff aware of boundaries, how to be respectful of those in the homes they were staying, CSA, SA, etc.
Any workers taking this class would surely have no longer been ignorant of child sexual abuse, sexual abuse, and its effects on victims, even though many workers and overseers continue to state that they’ve only begun to understand the consequences of these acts! How is this even possible? It doesn’t take a class for us to understand what is morally and criminally wrong with sexual assault, child sexual assault, sexual harassment, and rape!
I want to repeat this; 14 years after Ministry Safe classes were encouraged and requested for workers to take, workers and overseers are still saying that they had no idea of the long term effects of child sexual assault!
In January, 2010, we met with Bruce Shaw and Mark Peters. After berating me that I had written and sent a letter about Leslie all over the internet, of which I did not do, (my 8-page letter was sent to three workers), Bruce said he had not read it, nor had any intention to. Bruce stated that no matter what Leslie had been accused of or convicted of, his behavior had no reflection on the ministry, or Bruce, himself, and he actually didn’t care what Leslie did! READ THAT AGAIN! We countered that statement with the belief on our part that it truly is a reflection on the ministry, and we are to be responsible for the behavior of our brothers, especially the workers who are acting as shepherds, loving and protecting the innocent sheep.
Bruce followed that by requesting that I should no longer feel free to take part in meeting, until I had sought out Leslie, forgiven him, and then and only then, could I consider having a part in meeting! I repeated his request, to be sure I had heard correctly, as I was completely stunned, and taken off guard! Removing someone from the meetings because they stand by a victim of sexual harassment is so, so wrong.
Our heart and home had always been open to countless workers, friends, and those who needed a listening ear in times of hardship or times of fellowship. Not only were they punishing me for supporting a victim of sexual harassment, and trying to bring the terrible danger to light, but I was being silenced! This is ex-communication!
Tim mentioned those verses in Matt. 7 v.15, “beware of false prophets, which come to you in sheep clothing but are ravening wolves…” and the real danger that we must be on guard against. Bruce became enraged at this statement, slammed his Bible shut, and stated that they were leaving! I pleaded with Bruce that we were simply quoting verses that warn us, and we should heed the warnings, but he would have no part of further conversation.
I’m stating the obvious when I say that the harm, the hurt, the distrust, the feeling of being abandoned by those you’ve spent most of your lives with, is something that cannot fully be explained unless you’ve lived it. Upon hearing of the DB case, and what became evident from those opening his laptop, and as his victims began coming forward, I immediately felt nauseous, triggered by the pain and anguish for how we’d been treated, the Victim had been disbelieved and labeled, and the anxiety, PTSD, and other feelings that came to the surface, for victims, both adults and children, of this vile behavior.
It’s obvious now that these types of abuse have been going on within the church for generations, but when you are fully aware of it, and choose to move the workers responsible to another state, or when another overseer comes to a state after the perpetrator has been moved, and then claims, “well, I wasn’t here at the time, so I really don’t know much about it,” therein lies another problem. Either you’ve been told, but it’s best to act like you haven’t been, so that you can say you didn’t really know the details, therefore not being required to get involved, OR you weren’t told, and this only lets the perpetrator continue to harm innocent souls. Neither one is acceptable. And, it sets a dangerous precedent for your female sister workers, and innocent women, men and children not knowing who to watch out for!
Fourteen years have gone by since I pleaded with you to take some action, by emailing those at the highest authority, with specific details of this entire story for Leslie and any others that were guilty of harming innocent women, men, and children. They had no place as a minister, no matter their status, spending nights in homes with young children, visiting single women, taking liberties at convention grounds, or wherever else violators seek out victims. Fourteen years, and what has happened?
To my surprise, during the early summer of 2012, I received a call from a sister worker that had been a prior victim of LW, and that was Laura. Over three hours of conversation ensued, and my heart broke for her.
When my father heard that Ray Hoffman would be at McCordsville Convention in 2012, he sought him out. My father, who was heartbroken over what had transpired, wanted to share a little about me, as he now had become an advocate not only for those being abused, but for those who were standing up against abuse! Ray’s first comment to my father was “they’re out,” speaking of our current status in the church!
To clarify, my dad stated that it was because it had been forced; that’s what happens when you tell someone they can no longer take part in meeting, and how heartbreaking that it was over standing as an advocate! We weren’t acting immorally, behaving in ways that were detrimental to the church, or anything that is generally found as reason to silence someone!
More concerning though, was his statement, “if it weren’t for this sister worker, Leslie would still be in the work.” The exact statement was also repeated to me by a couple I was in touch with who resided far from Illinois couple lived in Texas, and had more than one conversation with Ray Hoffman about this situation. Once again, did no one know what Leslie was capable of, and had done to others, or were they hiding his behavior because of fear of man, loss of position, a loss to the church membership trust, or fear that something in their past would be revealed if they spoke up about Leslie’s behavior? I’ve recently read Ray’s comments to another victim of sexual abuse when asked about what the policy will be when others come forward to report, and he said, “well, it’s tricky because a lot of times victims who come forward are mentally unstable and while we feel for them, it’s hard to know what to do” (April, 2023)!
What an outrage to make such a statement! This only emphasizes the lack of knowledge, empathy and understanding of how such a traumatic event can impact a victim. There is significant data demonstrating that a victim of any form of a sexual crime can experience PTSD, suicide, self-harm, depression, etc., as a direct result of trauma. The real question that should be asked is “what happened to you,” NOT “what is wrong with you.” The saddest part is that no one will or can ever fully understand or have compassion and empathy for something they have not experienced themselves. Maybe before judgment is handed out to the victim while the perpetrator is protected, you should ask yourself, “how would I feel if this had been my experience?”
It should be understood that victims will be emotionally impacted, feel unsafe, remain in fear, have nightmares and panic attacks, engage in hypervigilance and avoidance and shut down completely in response to the trauma. Any worker who does not fully understand this should have absolutely NO access to the victim or be a part of their healing. Because any subsequent involvement in the situation only serves to increase fear, lack of safety, and lack of trust while also recreating, re-triggering and reinforcing the initial trauma for the victim, which greatly reduces opportunities for healing.
My phone continued to ring, from 2009-2012. And, I continued to receive emails, and requests to speak to other victims of Leslie White. I didn’t reach out; they found me. The questioning was nearly the same; questions that no worker has the right to ask of the sexual relationship of a couple. It was simply a way to open the door for more, and depending on the strength of his victims, they may not have welcomed his advances, but they were too weak to fight it because of the name of Leslie White, and who would ever believe them if they told what had happened! I had conversations with women from CA, GA, OH, MO, IN, and TX, all of whom were deeply concerned for the harm they had endured by Leslie White. They sought me out; I listened, I sympathized, and I encouraged them that they were worthy of better, and that they should report it.
We all know that at this point, every aspect of business, sports, religious organizations, political figures, and the media have been accused of illegal behavior towards women. Abuse of women and children is not OK, in any of these scenarios, but especially by those who are supposed to be shepherds and caretakers of the sheep; those in the ministry, and those who are acting as “administrators” of the ministry.
Hiding the facts from parents is not OK, when they’re spending nights in the homes where young children reside. Hiding the facts from sister workers is not OK when they should know to be careful around some of these predators. Hiding perpetrators and violators of women by moving them around from state to state is not OK when they only find a new territory to terrorize with their abuse.
And lastly, hiding what has been going on for years, as if it’s something you’ve just become aware of seems ludicrous and unbelievable. How many innocent victims have been hurt in the 14 years since my letter, and my pleading to not only remove Leslie from the work, but any others who were predators. What hurts worse? Is it hiding the facts for fear of losing those in the fellowship, or losing those in the fellowship because you’ve been hiding the facts and haven’t been transparent as to what you’ve allowed all these years?
My father spoke to Lyle Schober at one of the last conventions he was able to attend, and he made a point to spend a few minutes talking with him about this situation. Lyle told my father that what had happened in Chicago to our family “was a tragedy, and they all knew it.” However, upon my dad’s request to bring it to light, be transparent with the friends who we’d known for many years, to the workers throughout IL, and beyond, and to those who might’ve been harmed as well, Lyle stated that “as they have all been told one thing, for us to come back now and tell them something different would cause confusion.”
In other words, they had no intention to say any more; no intention to reach out to the victims of sexual harassment, no intention to reach out to the advocates who were victimized, or the children of the advocates who witnessed the “outing” of their parents because they dared stand up to behavior unbecoming of anyone, let alone those who claimed to be “servants of God.” My father’s request that Lyle Schober contact me directly went unheeded, even though he was given my email address and personal phone number.
I’ve spoken to no one about any of this from our circle of friends in fellowship since this occurred in 2009, nor have they asked. I’ve heard that it was said “we” had said none of the friends were welcome in our home. That is completely untrue; we don’t know who said that, but we did not! Choosing not to host the meeting in your home is not the same as saying “no one is welcome anymore.” Bruce Shaw was told he was not welcome, simply due to the fact that his attitude about sexual harassment and assault with regards to a worker was that it was no reflection on the ministry, or himself, and therefore, he was no longer welcome in our home. His behavior was something I’ve never witnessed in a worker. We followed scripture even in this, I Corinth. 5:11. And, Matt. 18 as we followed the course as written: Go to the violator, then go to others if the violator doesn’t hear you, then tell the church if they further persist in not hearing you. Then, don’t have fellowship with the violator.
It’s a sad state of affairs when something so morally wrong, brought to the attention of the workers, ends in those reporting or advocating, to be “cast out,” by the hierarchy. No wonder people wait 5, 10, 20, 30, or more years to report something so vile and so wrong! And, no wonder advocates are far and few between, because they know they’ll take the fall for speaking up in defense of a victim who has been harmed. We were warned! The victim warned us that we needed to be absolutely sure we were prepared for what might come, if we got involved! There was no question that it was THE ONLY RIGHT THING TO DO, REGARDLESS OF THE OUTCOME!
This behavior is so far from what Jesus lived and preached; we were given minds to reason right from wrong; we were given a conscience to know right from wrong, and a mouthpiece to speak when we see something wrong. What has been the course for too many years is reprimanding, ex-communicating, shunning, and speaking ill of those people who speak out. Forgiveness seemed to be their focus, but here’s what we know about forgiveness.
Forgiveness can help free one from the control of the person who harmed you, but forgiveness doesn’t mean forgetting or excusing the harm done to you. It would seem that their thinking was, if I forgave Leslie, I would never mention it again, regardless of the fact that he was still an active worker, and going against requests by his overseer, Barry Barkley. It’s this very control and fear that keeps victims from coming forward, and silence only allows the perpetrator the freedom to continue to hurt and harm others.
For too long, victims have been forced to bury what was done to them; children of child sexual assault will never fully recover, as it will be carried with them in every aspect of their life. It is unbelievable to me that you would not realize the depth of the harm, and not have such a burning desire to make things whole, acknowledge the victims and offer support and help for their recovery, acknowledge those who’ve served as advocates for others, who also then became victimized because they would not be quiet, acknowledge the violators and remove them, protect innocent children from CSA, and acknowledge the administrative staff that have taken liberties with others, and when found out, are simply moved to another state or location, where it all begins again.
I’ve very recently been told that LW stated to an acquaintance of mine that I was “mentally unstable, and emotionally troubled, and had been all of my life,” as he was sneaking around on his own, visiting people that I might have told this story to, just to see what they would report to him. How incredibly wrong that statement is, and how slanderous. Our home was an open home for workers, friends, those going through tough times and those who were rejoicing, for Wednesday night meetings for 13 plus years, on a weekly basis, and if you were to ask anyone of those friends who knew us well, I am certain you’d hear nothing but positive things. Defaming others is just part of the “control,” in order to keep things quiet when there is danger on the forefront.
I was even told that you, Barry, had remarked to someone very close to our family, that I had “misquoted and misrepresented you,” and for that, you chose not to have further conversation with me (late 2009). Barry, you’ve known me all my life; as well as my parents and my grandparents, and have known them all to be honorable people, not afraid to show compassion to others who were less fortunate, as well as being a friend to the old and young. If we don’t understand the directive to be our brother’s keeper, to carry them when they’re unable to carry themselves, to encourage and show love regardless of status or culture, then something is severely missing from our understanding of the Bible.
What are you afraid of? Is it hiding what those in the hierarchy are aware of, because everyone has something to hide, so it’s easier to shuffle them around, and carry on, and not be truthful when hard questions are asked? NOTHING is hidden from God, and shouldn’t that be a far greater concern and motivation to do the right thing, than fear of man, fear of losing place, losing respect, losing money, losing members?
For fourteen years, we’ve lived with the realization that nothing would have been done, had it not been for the sister worker who came forward with a much more damaging experience, even though she was repeatedly disbelieved, and labeled as “troubled.” At that point, it seemed the ministry became aware that there was only one thing to do, and that was to remove Leslie White from the work, even though it seemed “forced, and unfair.” We were told by only one worker, Jeff Thayer, that they all agreed it had been handled very poorly. But, he also said he wasn’t here when it happened, and really didn’t have many details. What was the response then, when a year later, Leslie sent letters to his CO followers, and others around the country, that the case had been dropped against him re: the sister worker, and he was free to rebuild from this damaging accusation?
And what am I reading now, that Leslie is participating in gospel meetings, with permission by Ray Hoffman? And visiting in homes like nothing has happened; homes where young children reside, and homes where the husband is away at work. And they had no idea of the suffering Leslie White has caused!
You would not be aware of the mental trauma, the anxiety, the recognition that you’re not believed, the effects of “removing” someone from having a place and part in the fellowship, the confusion that enters a child’s mind as a result of watching these things transpire, when their parents have been Godly and upright people, and the end result, far too often, of wanting no ties with religion!
What I evidently didn’t make clear 14 years ago in letters with Duane Hopkins, Lyle Schober, Jim Price, and conversations with you, Barry, I’m attempting to make clear now. It’s not enough to “leave it to the workers,” because you did nothing to rectify a situation even much larger than we were aware of, in covering those who were abusing children, men and women! It’s not enough to trust that it’s in the hands of those who are responsible, and will make the right decision, because you didn’t. And what has remained is the pattern of abuse, coverups, and lack of transparency to parents, worker staff, and the church, for which you are responsible.
Once again, I’m sending my true and honest statement of what transpired here in IL, back in 2009-2012 when a senior, administrative worker took liberty to speak in a way that is deemed “sexual harassment,” with a young single woman, and close friend of ours; she requested that we stand with her to help her advocate for the wrongdoing. What occurred as a result of our speaking the truth, out of respect for victims, respect for violators who need help, and care for the church is detailed above. The policy of encouraging reporting needs to become crystal clear if people are being asked to speak out. Victim shaming is not the answer, and this is not OK!
It seems apparent at this writing that this behavior, and much that we were not aware of by many other workers throughout the USA, Canada, and beyond has been going on for years, covered for years, and left to harm countless. I’ve never been able to understand how none of the workers would take a stand with us and require that there be a change. I had no idea how dark, criminal, and vile things really were among some of those men who stood on the platform, speaking from the Bible, as they upheld a “standard” for the one true Church we were to live by, yet were living lives most of us would never dream of, behind our backs.
People are sickened, sad, had their entire foundation upended, and are counting on you to do the right thing. What are they to expect? How is it possible to right the ship with the same leadership in charge who is unwilling to listen to those begging for change; leadership that has known and covered for others for far too long!
You did not surge ahead of God, but instead, thought you could handle the abuse by Leslie White best yourselves, by waiting, and praying for direction. I find it hard to believe that God didn’t give you a little tap on the shoulder, your conscience, to pull you in the right direction, to do the right thing. Maybe you weren’t listening. I hope everyone is listening now.
Beyond saddened and concerned in Illinois, USA
Beth (Laswell) Boelter
June 28, 2023
Feel free to share wherever with whomever.
See also account by Tim & Beth’s daughter, Chelsea (Boelter) Mohan